A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Although my boyfriend seems to be interested in me he seems that he doesn't have a lot of time for me. He is spending many hours to work and he wants to go out with his own friends sometimes. I am tired of asking him to spend time together and sometimes i arrange to go out with my own friends. Then if he calls me and i am out its difficult to arrange something together. If i don't go out and he doesn't call me i feel again dissapointed. Although i prefer to go out with my boyfriend it doesn't seem easy to arrange it. What's the best way of behaving? Keep asking him of going out together or doing my own programme and let him ask for me and arrange to be together when it is possible? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): This is a common problem....to your boyfriend, consistency equals commitment and he is not giving you one.
I would not get mad at him for not making time or calling you, but the way to handle it I found that works best is not to be available 100% of the time when he randomly calls you, don't announce ahead of time that you are going out, if he calls late in the week to make a date for the weekend, then you have plans with some unknown person, do not specify, do not make him think it is another man, but be busy with your own life and intersts and let him know that you are not going to change your life for the chance to maybe go out with him.
If he is interested and can't reach you at 1 pm, he will call again at 3 pm, and 7 pm until he reaches you, especially if you don't right away return his calls...Make him put forth some effort and only see him by appointment, no late night drive bys, stop ins for you, if he calls you at 9Pm to pick him up from the airport, then drive him home, and go home to your own place.... you are a woman of value, and he needs to get a clue, that if he does not step up to the plate, you will remove yourself from the relationship....Good Luck
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 If you have to ask for time together then he's not all that interested in you, honey. If a guy is truly into his girlfriend he's going to spend as much of the free time that he has with her. I'd let him go his way and start looking for the guy with whom you can really have a relationship.
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