A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My kids think there's something wrong with him but I think he's wonderful. He doesn't have a cell phone, TV, internet or friends. Heck even my parents have all that and they're nearly 80. His relationship with his parents is via phone although they're just a few hours away and he seems very very sensitive for a guy. He looks like he's going to cry every time he says "i love you". He's never been married but he says he's had long term relationships that just didn't work. Are these things really an issue to be addressed? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, romany  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 hmmmm, I think you should keep your head below the clouds and your feet on the ground before you gush too much over this guy.
I dont think being a techonophobe is cause for concern, however,I'm always a little bit wary of guys who aren't close to family, or who have reached a certain age without kids, or a significant relationship, or not being introduced to friends of old....
I know a majority of them are absolutely fine, and I dont mean to tar anyone with the same brush.
I just think you should not be whooshed away by any romantic notions, until you really have gotten to know this guy.
Also crying when saying I love you, all the time, would mightily piss me off, and that would make me wary of him too, I would see that as him being too dependant on me and desperate for me. Very strage that.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (7 July 2010):
Personally I don´t have a problem with guys who don´t care about TV or cellphones. I honestly find it resfreshing. However, the fact he has no friends at his age strikes me as odd. Why doesn´t he have friends? Technology can't be blamed for that.
Do your kids think something's wrong with him because he hasn't kept up with technology or is there something else about him that they find strange?
But really, it's only an issue if you and/or he think it is.
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A
female
reader, vickylouise +, writes (7 July 2010):
if your children dont like him why are you with him. yes he makes you happy but if your children are going to start calling him 'dad' then he has to earn that name. i think you should be with him and show the world that you can love but you have to respect what your children think of him too.
Riaa
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (7 July 2010):
I dont think it is fair to judge someone by what they choose to have like a cell phone or internet. But no TV or friends? How does he keep up with world events? What kind of job does he have? What in those LONG TERM relationships just DIDNT WORK? No Friends? Really?
I would have some questions - those seem like red flags - please heed your kids advice and go slow with this one.
Does he have a car and does he visit his parents? How is he with your family? Engaging and polite and genuine?
Yes my advice would be that these are issues to be addressed. Oh and you may want to ask why he doesnt have a cell phone or internet. Some people just dont have a need or cant justify the expense. Others are technophobes. If you understand those things and he fears your knowledge over time that can become an issue.
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