A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Married 5 years have 2 kids and now my husband tells me he has never felt close to me?! (back story) He is in the military and is gone all the time. Every other year he deploys while he is "home" he is getting ready to leave again. So other than him leaving we never had any issues we never had time to. Up until now he was home 2 or 3 months here and there that was it.So now he has been home for a year and is not leaving again for another year. I have started to see he is not happy we are just living in the same house and have sex sometimes. So I put the kids down early and just asked him if everything was ok. He tells me right away "I don't feel close to you I never have, but I don't want to lose you." so I ask "are not sure you love me or are you just having a hard time with what being married really is?" He tells me "I don't know I just don't feel like I'm close to you" I asked if I'm not doing something I use to do. Or if he feels like something should change. He says "I don't know this is not an issue with you, your great and I love everything you do for me." then just up and went to bed!What does all that mean??? That was a week ago and we have not talked about it since!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): He may have PTSD. In Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, one of the feelings is numbness. Sometimes I feel nothing for my husband, or even someone who I thought I wanted to be with more than my husband. PTSD can be caused from combat stress and other things. He may be telling the truth when he says it has nothing at all to do with you. He still wants to be with you, so I wouldn't worry about it. Just be supportive of him. Tell him your feelings as well, but if he needs you to, work with him on this.
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