A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'd really be glad of your thoughts to my situation, although I'm honestly not sure there is a solution...I'm 32 and I started seeing a girl just over 3 years ago. The relationship only lasted about a couple of months. It was highly charged sexually and one of the things that attracted me to the girl was that she was so sexually charged... To be honest, I've never really experienced that before...she was in her late twenties and told she'd been with over 30 partners... those that she could remember...The problem is that I've never been able to get her out of my mind. If I see her my stomach churns and I'm affected for several days..pining for her. I dread visiting certain places in case she's there... I actually avoid certain places in case she's there... I have bumped into her on occasions, but have ignored her...I feel hate towards her for dumping me...but a deep sexual yearning for her...her promiscuous nature is almost a magnet... maybe i love her???In short, I have had several relationships since her, but I just can't get over her. It's actually affecting my life now and I honestly wish she'd either move to a different country or fall dead. I know that sounds awful, but that's the effect she has on me. I still masturbate thinking about her... (sorry...) May be i'm sexually addicted to her..Thank you for your help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): Thank you for your replies - I'm the person who asked the original question...
What I just don't understand is that thinking back to the relationship...we weren't in all honesty that compatible which makes the whole thing after 3 years (!) seem crazy.
I do lust after her hugely. I've had other sexual relationships, but none that have made me feel this way. I wish I'd never met her as I feel she's actually controlling a major part of my life, although it's obviously me that's doing that to myself...
I just don't know how to 'break this habit'? As I mentioned, I've had other relationships since, but it's almost as if she's weaved a spell over me... it's been over 3 years for goodness sake. Surely, my feelings should have diminished by now???
Thank you again for your replies.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): This is destroying any chance of a future. This is a sexual fixation. I dont think it is love. Would you trust her if you became a couple? Everywhere you go there's someone she's got off with. Would you be okay with that? Get help because you have only one life and this isnt the way to spend it.
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A
female
reader, holly123 +, writes (19 July 2009):
i can totally relate to this!you hate her for what she did to you but you still want to see her to either have sex with her and just leave it or for her to just get out of your life altogeher. well i would get away for a bit, you need closure. but i think you need to speak to her to just find out for yourself how much you dont need her
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): The problem your having sounds like lust not love. She really put it on you. I know it's hard to to find a good communicator in the bedroom, but trust me there are many more of them out there. The best lover you can have is someone who meets both your mental and physical needs.
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