A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. I am 22 and he is 26. He used to be so sweet and affectionate towards me before we started dating, he used to call me 6-7 times in a day and he always wanted to spend time with me. But he is so different now. He doesnt want to meet me, he does call but we talk for just 10 minutes. He doesnt do anything sweet for me. When we do meet up though, we always have a great time. But sometimes weeks go by without meeting him and he doesnt seem to miss me at all. I have tried talking to him about it, but there has been no change. He says he doesnt want to break up. But why wont he change? I want a guy who will make me feel very special. But he just doesnt care. I just dont know what to do. I really feel like ending this relationship. But i love him. Oh, i am so confused! Please help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): I think that it's good that you don't ant to strain your relationship by asking too much of him, but yet, YOU still have needs. It would not be in your beat interest to abandon what you want and need for the convenience of this guy, even if you don't do so intentionally. Could you casually suggest something he could do for you without sounding demanding? And when he does do something sweet and wonderful, be sure to point out how much you love that.Being a guy, he probably doesn't like to be corrected all that much, but a little bit of constructive criticism never hurt anyone. I think it's all about being careful and gentle in your phrasing.Could you play it up as a joke? (I don't know if that would work for your relationship--it was very effective in mine, but were in high school, so maybe it's different. I don't know.)Yikes, I don't know anything more to say.Best of the best of the best of luck!-GG
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i did meet him and talked it out with him. He said he loved me and we ended up talking for a long time. But i still don't think he understood how I feel when he doesn't do anything sweet for me. I decided to just let it be and see how things go. Is it right to do that? Cos i don't want to be too demanding of him. What do you guys think?
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A
female
reader, worrytoomuch  +, writes (11 April 2009):
I think I would sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart. Let him know that you need a little more. It's normal that all the "lovey-dovy" stuff sort of becomes not as strong as when you two first got together; however, there is a fine line between getting comfortable in the relationship and not caring. If, after you guys talk, he continues to act uninterested then I would consider your feelings for him. If you need something he cannot give then maybe he's not for you. However, it may just be a matter of communicating this to him.
Good luck! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): I'm new to the world of relationships, being only 15, so I don't know if this helps. I am in a pretty similar situation, actually. My bf of 3 months suddenly won't really do all the wonderful things he used to. I talked to him about it, and how I didn't feel like he loved me anymore, and he was upset and shocked that I felt this way.
Immediately, there was a change.
He started acting like he loved me again. We still don't get to spend very much together, but when we do, we makethe most of it.
My advice--talk it out. If he really loves you, he won't like to find out he's upsetting you. It's a big deal if you're this upset, and he should realize that.
Best of luck!
-GG
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOops, i am 21..not 22!
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