A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is going to be really long sorry!!!Im in love with my best friend,lets call him Dan.. we live together and a few months back when we were both 'under the influence' we admitted that we loved each other and think we're soul mates...However, we both wanted to wait until at least after college, he said 'if i ever hurt you id kill myself, and we'll screw it up now..but im going to marry you someday'...so we went on about our lives, curling up on the couch every night, acting like a couple yet we've never even kissed...he gets with girls all the time and im fine with that..i was fine with the thought of waiting for each other and having fun while we did it...Then he introduced me to one of his college friends, and i really fell for him..we clicked completely and after spending a week with him we kissed, i really like him, but since then Dan has been a bit off with me, making little digs and calling me a slut(because i had slept with another guy around the same time)..I wish i could tell him Im still in love with him but Im scared of chasing him away, I know its not what he wants now, but then he cant get mad at me for being with other guys right? he cant expect me to just hang around until he snaps his fingers...The sad thing is I know id go running, I dont even know how he feels anymore and I dont know wether to carry on with the other guy or just tell Dan everything...I love him, we are two halves of the same person, I can be, do, say anything around him and i know he feels the same...but he doesnt want me now..and although we can practically read each others minds we can never say how we feel about each other, we just sit here and pretend nothings going on...aaaahhh i dont know what to do!!!I know this other guy would be good for me right now and i really really like him, but i dont want to jeopordise anything..please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): Why are you with this other guy if you never have the intention of a proer future together? That's not fair on him really.My answer is simple, you got to talk to him. Talk to 'Dan' and talk seriously about your emotions, jealousy, your future and all that. Why isn't he ready to commit to you is a big question.Tell him really how you feel if you want a serious future with him,(you won't scare him away-he told you first he wanted to marry you and if he does, he's not the one for you) the question is do you really want to? If the answer is instantly yes, tell him before it's too late. If he's like it's too soon, you don't hang around. You are not mourning and waiting for him, you have your own ife to lead and if he wants to be in it, he will do whatever necessary to do that.Talk to him poppet, you really need to.Much love and let me know how it goes Izi
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