A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alrite so theres this guy .. we've been dating about 7 mnths now... and we had sex for the first time ... he was a virgin and so was i !... i've never been physical with any guy in my life expect him. then after the sex he tells me that he doesnt believe im a virgin becuase i didnt bleed during. It hurt me like hell doe like it hurts anyone. But he doesnt believe me at all. He says i should just admit that i wasnt a virgin. he fights with me every day about it and i tell him every day that i was a virgin. it was my first time it meant so much to me :( ... He has no idea how insulting it is for me but he just keeps saying i need to admit that i wasnt a virgin. How do i convince him that i was? i really am a virgin. I told him how sometimes girls dont bleed cause of tampons and being sporty and stuff but he doesnt believe me at all. It hurts that i gave my virginity to someone who doesnt respect it at all :'( ..
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male
reader, Myau  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 Poor dear, I bet this is just awful for you.
The other aunts are right, get him to read this and then he can apologise for being so mean to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): I did not bleed one bit when i lost my virginty and oh my word, it did hurt like hell too ... i always thought i would bleed thus was surprised i didn't and also, i'd convinced myself all those women were lying about how painful first time sex can be, found out they weren't the hard way lol
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A
female
reader, ChristineAvril  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 If after reading all his you still want to be with him, show him this page and try to educate him; otherwise close the door as you leave!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (7 April 2010):
Apart from his ignorance factor . . . it sounds like you decided to give your virginity to the wrong guy. Many people, both girls and guys, feel some level of disappointment after their first sexual experience. He may be reacting to this in an especially immature way - probably too immature to be a responsible sex partner right now. He might come out of it over time, perhaps with some help or prodding from friends or counselors, and be truly sorry for hurting you.
Or, for him, the whole sex experience may have been about some sort of conquest, with a check-list of what should (or should not) happen. If that is the case - you may now be mainly just a notch on his bedpost.
What's done is done. His actions are not only insulting, but show a fundamental lack of trust in you. That doesn't sound good for the future prospects of your relationship. As you probably realize, it can't go on like this. Are you continuing to have sex with him? If so, why?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): I have to agree with other posters, I feel sorry for you for having slept with a guy like him. You should've cleared it up for him before anything happened that you were really a virgin, although he should know that Not Every virgin woman bleeds her first time. I think that he isn't that good for you either. I mean, if he's not going to believe you about something as important as that then what can you expect from him for other things. Talk to him about it more and make sure you tell him how all he's saying makes you feel. I don't think that any guy should be saying things like that to his girlfriend and if he does then he's not the right guy for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): I feel so sorry for you, but he doesnt sound like he is good for you at all. If he cant believe you on something so important to you. What if you left him because of his mistrust, perhaps that would be an eye opener. He is really just being a prick, and you deserve better! Keep your chin up girl, some things in life suck, and we all experience them. But we grown and become stronger, and one time you will make love to a man who respects, trusts and truly loves you, and none of this will matter any longer.
PS. He has probably listened to too many prank stories from friends or from porn or wherever about how much girls bleed, or how some have faked being virgins. Him believing in that gossip over you is a no-go, and should not be accepted. He is immature, and if he can't trust you now, will he ever?
Believe me, you deserve better and you will find better. Dont have sex with this guy again, tell him you are too sore from the first time, both physically and mentally.
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A
male
reader, bOROi +, writes (7 April 2010):
Anyway how do you know hes telling the truth that he is a virgin anyway???? His foreskin fully closed maybe???? I think he is taking you for a ride thats all, you know you are a virgin, so does he. maybe he is on a mission to deflower virgins. If he doesnt believe you, just forget about him, or he will be harping on the matter time and again..
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 April 2010):
 He is under the misconception that bleeding is a must to prove virginity.
I am sorry ,there is nothing you can do to convince him until one day he finds out the truth.
Now you have two options.
1) To hold firm to your views
2) To accept his views and move on.
You can ask him to Google and find out the truth online or go to the link below.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061021163052AAQpJzC
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 April 2010):
 This is true, not all girls bleed their first time. My ex wife, "virgin" didn't bleed, and I never questioned her because I trusted her word.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): same thing in my case. if you dump him he'll get the message
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010): Well, if it was me he would have gotten one slap for his ignorance, one for his callousness, and one for the arrogance to think that you would owe your virginity to him or any man. If he didn't have the sense or the heart to see the value of sharing the first sexual experience together, then show him the door. Goodbye and good riddance! Take care, love.
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