A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know in a lot of cases clingyness ruins a relationship. However is this likely? For example, if a guy is THAT crazy about a girl that he does every thing she wants including buying her things, running round after her, going to see her in every spare moment they have off work, will he get sick of doing this? I mean I know love takes over but I'm worried my friend is blind as although she likes him she is the sort of person who loves attention. Therefore he is doing everything she wants. Ok he will want to make her happy but won't he get sick of this? Won't a time come when he thinks hang on I want my own life back or I'm sick of doing everything for her?Any advice would be extremely greatful, thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): I really think it just depends on how strong the relationship really is. Funny, I have a friend who is going through the same thing and they have been together for over 10 years and married for 2 years. She doesn't realize just what she will lose if she makes the wrong decision. No matter what happens in a relationship, you will miss it when it is gone. When someone does so much for the opposite person, they really need to show the appreciation as well. A simple thank you will go a long way. Sometimes I think it is okay to do a lot of things, however, I also think they should accidently forget to do something so it isn't taken for granted all of the time.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 February 2013):
 My grandmother used to say “there’s a cover for every pot” what she meant was “one size does not fit all” and what works for some folks will NOT work for others.
You ask… “will he get sick of doing this?” the answer is MAYBE.
Your friend likes attention. He gives her what she likes. He’s not being forced, she’s not being forced… they are doing this as adults by their own choice.
My husband and I started dating in December 2010 by March 2011 we were serious and by June 2011 even though we were LDR we could barely stand to be apart… by December 2011 he had given up his life, his home and his job to move to be with me. We are still not sick of waking up together each morning… in fact, we compromised after he found a job here… He is not due at work till 8 am but he got permission to start at 7:30. I can get to work as early as 6 am and used to get in at 6:30…. But he prefers me to be with him in bed in the morning as long as possible so now I go to work at 8 or so. It’s a compromise so we can be together and do things for each other.
Now I think that as an adult my husband can handle his medical care himself… He has asked me to attend all his medical appointments as I am his wife and it’s important to him. So I do. Even if I just sit there and say nothing it’s a comfort to him. So I do it. No big deal… Do you see this as an issue? Why?
There are days I want my house to myself again. There are days I want to just get up at 4:30 and roll into the office and be over and done.. but the compromise I made was to make my marriage a priority so I do what needs to be done even if it’s not my ideal plan. Of course coming home every night to a “hi hon how was your day give me a kiss” is worth it….
I love making dinner for my hubby. I love taking care of him. He loves to take care of me and brings me treats at bedtime… just because. It does not get tiresome to treat the person you love in a manner that those outside the relationship view as over the top.
The truth is that NO ONE but the two people involved in the relationship really know the dynamics of the relationship.
People in love, and in relationships, willingly give up part of themselves to be part of a couple.
My father has been with his gf for 17 years and with my mom before that for over 40 years… she always did for him and he for her… My grandparents…married for 67 years …. Always together… always a team.. he did for her… she never even drove a car.. he drove her everywhere… when he died in their bed she was heartbroken. She had known and loved him since she was ten years old… she cried. She was 91 and she told me ‘I’ve lost my best friend and I don’t want to live any more” six months later she died in the same bed.
I only wish I could have half the love my grandparents had.
Is there a reason you are so concerned with your friend’s relationship?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2013): I just 'love' how outsiders tend to judge someone else's relationship. I heard this opinion so many times before, he does everything for her, she does everything for him. What does it mean anyway?I know this couple for many years, they are my good friends. When I was as young as you, I was also thinking that he does everything for her. By everything What I saw he was catering physically to her. Me coming from a family where women cater to men, it was an unsettling thing to see. How he brings her tea, and she asks him to go upstairs to get her phone.He comes home, and she wouldn't get up to warm up his dinner, he does it himself. He never says no, wether kids need to be picked up, or dry cleaning. In my family only women did this kind of chores.Then I had an emergency situation in the apartment I was living at that time. First i was told it's only a week, but it turned out to be more than a month that I had to stay with this couple.And then my opinion was changed drastically. I saw how much work that woman does to run a family. She basically was taking care of all family life including her husband. Yes, he did made breakfast for kids many times but so did she, from paying bills, balancing checks accounts, planning food for a week, clothes shopping, taking kids to after school classes, homework, doctors appointments. She was constantly reminding her husband about things he forgets on a regular basis. She was working full time, finding time for fun stuff with her family on a weekends.But people never saw this part, all they could see is her husband bringing her tea, and that was enough for them to say that he does everything for her. You never know what's behind what you actually see when you are around them. After all you just meet for fun, and there is much more to the rest of the life
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