A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for 9 yrs and have 2 children. We've had many issues in the past with his dishonesty and our sexless marriage. I am the one who always wanted sex, but after a few years of not getting it, I became numb and pretty much gave up. I am an attractive girl, but he has made me feel very unnatractive. The question is, things were starting to get better when I found his Facebook account open with him sending a message to a beautiful "old friend" saying that he shouldn't have let her slip by and they would've had beautiful children together. Never say never was his final words. Should I leave him since he is obviously so disrespecful of me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): I agree with you in saying that "he didn't think about it and how it would make me feel". He says he'd never cheat on me, so I think I'm going to always wonder. I might just be in his personality to lie and to hide things and I don't think that he will ever change. Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.
A
female
reader, wee_neko +, writes (29 September 2010):
The "He wasn't thinking" sends up red flags in my mind.
MY cheating ex said he "wasn't thinking" when I caught him in lesser, but still damning lies and deceptions.
Just food for thought.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): If he says NEVER this and NEVER that do hind on his words, look at his actions. As people, we can take things to heart when something is said in any manner. Ive come to conclusion it should only be taken genuinely once you see it in action. If he's telling you NEVER, and lying about whatever else, there is a clear communication issue with both of you, respectively. However, on his end, he should know that actions speak louder than words and should therefore not lie and perhaps manipulate your thinking.
Kind regards.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe says that he has never or would never cheat on me. We've had our issues with him lying in the past and I keep believing him when he says he won't do it again. Yet, year after year, I catch him in a lie. I know that I'm not perfect either. I am a nag when it comes to housework because I get super annoyed to spend my days off cleaning when he doesn't help. So, he said that since we've had our issues, he "wasn't thinking" when he wrote those things. But, to me, that really crossed the line. Thanks for all your help out there!
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (28 September 2010):
 You could always take him to court, and embarrass him in front of everyone by requesting a divorce.
He sounds like a real loser. You should have better things to do with your time than hang out with a dickhead like him.
That's just what I reckon. I hope it works out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): Cute Babe is dead on balls accurate :)...this (insert any demeaning phrase for a man here) is no good for you sweetness or for your children. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010): I've never been married OR had children. So as a selfish unmarried person I say leave him.Dissatisfaction between parents seems to trickle down to the children from what I've seen, so it may be better to split. Don't quote me on it though. It sounds like you should move on now before ten more years pass and you get served divorce papers yourself and regret getting it over with now. Seems like he's long since checked out of the relationship. However, you may want to try forcing him to go to marriage counseling with you (charged to him, of course). If he's a good father and whatever else is important to you, maybe this can be solved with some mediated communication.
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A
female
reader, CuteBabe +, writes (28 September 2010):
 1) For what I know a man can't handle a sexless WEEK!! And your saying it's been YEARS!! I definately say that he's getting sex somewhere else, and enough sex to satisfy his system to not want any from you!! So he is totally cheating on you!!2) "he shouldn't have let her slip by and they would've had beautiful children together and finally Never say never" I think it doesn't need any explanation!! It's blindly obvious!! I mean what the hell does he want he's already has 2 kids (who are supposed to be special just for the fact that they're his) and he's married to an attractive women who sounds to me as so sweet and loving that she tolerated such a life for 9 YEARS! And believe no one would hang on this long especially with dishonesty and NO sex! (not that sex is everything but still it has a huge importance in its own way)Hun all I can tell you is leave him before he leaves you! Leave with DIGNITY!! He is such a low man who doesn't deserve to have such a wonderful wife like you and doesn't deserve to have any kids! (sorry I'm saying this stuff about your husband but that's the impression I got about him)You deserve MUCH better than him!! I'd vote for you to leave him! and as soon as possible!Wish you the best of luck!!
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