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He disrespects me and I hit him, Now what?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Well this is my third post regarding my fiance...He gets upset over everything...says i reject him for ex...new years day morning...he called to see if i wanted to come over for breakfast. i told him i wasn't hungry but that id see him soon (in about 1 hour after i got ready) he got mad at me! says i dont appreciate a good guy and i have no idea what i have! well this time he got mad because my mom called me to see where i was...i had told her i'd be home b4 ten and when she called it was almost 11...i had fallen asleep soo i jumped up and even told him omg u have to get ready for work...well he got mad my mom called and told me that my parents control me so on and so forth.well he holds grudges for days and punishes me (meaning he will not call me or some other dumb thing)..well thurs night i went over to talk to him...he was working on the comp. it wasnt letting him get online...i sat patiently then said are u almost done im kind of tired and i can cme back tomorrow his response was wat mommy and daddy want u home early.(mind you i have worked 8-5 then school 7-10 soo yea i was tired) well i sat down waitied and then told him he is being spiteful and ignoring me his reply was shut the f*ck up...i said what no u shut the f*ck up who do you think you are..because your a cop you can talk to me like that ..he kept saying it then said then get out of my f*uckin house..i didnt tell you to come by...soo i told him he is nasty and doesnt know how to treat women he is like all other cops i know...hes a dirty cop for talking down to me..omg well he got up come towards me and i tell him dont put your hands on me he grabs me pulls me off the couch and starts to literally push me towards the door i keep telin him to get off and start swinging to get him off...i guess i got him because he looked in my eyes and said you b*tch get out...i started crying and said no one disresepects me like that and threw a punch to his face he continued to push me out pinned me on the wall opened the door and pushed me out hard...handed me my purse and i told him he cant man handle me like that and had the nerve to say i started throwing punches at him!! yea im crazy and am just going to throw punches! well i went to my friend\s crying hysterically marks on my arms....i would think he would call and \apologize nothing...im soo hurt and i blame myself....i always think its my fault...he makes me feel like im no good for him ..always saying what i dont do for him...well then i find out the next night he goes out with his friends! like nothing..im soo hurt and miserable...i am always the one to say sorry and go look for him and like an idiot i even send him balloons even when its not my fault! how can he leave me after two years and being engaged...ive been soo good to him i swear...and im nothing to him....how can he not care...how can he jst walk away..what i do?

View related questions: engaged, fiance, swinging

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he didnt give me the opportunity to walk on my own he was enraged! and as far as some of you saying i shouldnt of hit him if you would of seen my arms it would be a different story and if im mistreated and called names im not going to allow that....i guess you can only give your opinion based on what it sounds like i wrote. never mind and thanks anyways.....i dont just hit people to hit...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008):

It dosen't seem like you care for each other at all. I don't see why you two stay together. He should have treated you better but you had no right to hit him!

As for how he can just walk away the answer is simple. He realized that this is not a healthy relationship and the violence will likely escalate if each of you stayed together.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (14 January 2008):

eddie agony auntNobody should hit anybody, that includes you. Without splitting hairs, you should have left his house when he told you to go. He could have called the police and they would have arrested you. It's difficult to grasp how severe this was. I mean, if he lifted you off the couch and directed you to the door, so be it. If he yanked on your arm and threw you to wards the door, that is another thing. Whatever it was, he pulled, you punched...what a mess. Why do you stay together? If you say it's because you love him and want to be with him, then expect more of this. Right or wrong, nothing should come as a surprise. I'd suggest counseling or a new boyfriend.

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