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He didn't want "a relationship", but now he says he does. I'm confused.

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

recently ive been seeing a guy and at the moment we have become soo close and really care about each other we became slightly physical and shared many moments, kisses and stories... i then decided to ask him out offically and he said he wasnt ready for anything just yet. he said it was to quick to start a relationship just yet but promised that i am the one he wants to be with. i was insist on why he doesnt want to be with me and he said im an honest guy i can say il be with u but i wouldnt be true to me or u as i wont be with 100% and thats not fair... i kinda understood n we carried on with the way things were... I then later realised with the help of friends that I was better then this. Why was I playing second fiddle to a guy that didn’t even wnna commit hiself to me… so anyway I decided to tell him to either step up and be my man or I was walking….He tried to persude me into staying but it had gone on long enough and I had to stop it and that’s exactly what I did… for a good 3days I didn’t speak to him… didn’t return his 25missed calls or his txt etc… just left him… I then thought that I needed to justifie why I left it the first place… I thought I needed to tell him how much he hurt me and everything… so I sent him a looooooonng email… after that he called me even more saying he wants to talk 2 me but I again ignored him….

He then wrote me one back saying that the last 3days where really hard and that he now has realised exactly what he would have lost… he then basically said right lets make it happen im now ready to give you my all….. he said that before he was scard to start something else as he couldnt let go of his past but now he has realised that if i go it will kill him....

Im now realllllllllyyyyyy confused is he for real or is he just doin this because he feels pressured and doesn’t wanna loose a friend… I don’t know if hes genuine and really wants to do it… I do want him but im not sure whether he really wants it or just doing it too keep me sweet… what should I do help!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey guys thanks for the advice... just a quick update... we are now together and have been offical for about 2weeks now... its goin great and i really believe that now he is as geniuine as it gets... :D

thanks soo much

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A female reader, xxkissxx United Kingdom +, writes (21 July 2008):

hey,

for your situation before you didnt speak to hm for three days andwalked away from him made him realize is feelings,

what i mean is if you carried on the way that you were and not being together he may not have realized that when you left it waz truly you that he wanted so in the long run you done him a favour and made him realize,

i reckon you should give him the chance and get with him for real this time

good luck and i hope this helps x

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (21 July 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntGive him another chance but if he starts behaving squirrely then drop him like a hot potato.

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