A
female
age
30-35,
*ofialoren
writes:To cut a long story short. I have fancied this guy in university for a year now and although we haven't talked much through the year, we went on a dinner date a couple of days ago.We got a bit drunk after dinner and I went back to his and we kissed and cuddled all night. The next day he initiated contact twice through texts and facebook. Today his status says he's going out and I feel bad that he hasn't invited me out or replied to a text I sent him in this morning.I later found him online on facebook and he apologized for not texting back, he said he was busy with his work. We chatted for a bit and then I said 'see you around sometime' (it is end of term now and we are going home) and he didnt reply and went offline.I don't understand really why he is acting this way. We had a lovely dinner and generally a lovely time and now he's acting this way. He seemed really nice too :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): See,he was putting out the interest in you. He apologized to you and said he was busy and that is totally a reasonable response. That he did that again, shows interest.
A woman usually screws up this part of the dating possible could lead somewhere with her masculine approach or mind games.
Honesty is always best and patience is best at this point as well. This way you know a man is interested in you as he will seek you out. Which the guy did and then you shot him that cold text. OUCH.
I'm thinking he saw that as disinterest.
SOLUTION: Time for an apology and some honesty and THEN PATIENCE.
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (16 December 2011):
I agree with ChaliceODamnation, not so much the anonymous response.
There are several reasons he may have not invited you out:
1. You haven't made it clear to him that you enjoyed your time together the other night. If you really did, you should tell him, and SAY that you'd like to go out again soon. Guys aren't too aware of subtle hints and mind games. If you're feeling a certain way, please god, tell us. If you're just going to play word games and try and get him to respond in a certain way, you'll only be disappointed.
2. He's going out with other people. People you don't know or don't hang out with. This should not offend you. Everyone has their own friends. If some of your friends invited you somewhere, would you immediately invite some guy along? Probably not and he'd have no reason to be offended. Neither should you.
Best solution: Just talk to him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): See you around sometime would come across as you being overly casual to cold.
If he had sent that to you - how would it make you feel?
Most times, its best to remain genuine. If you were happy to chat with him, say so. If you want him to enjoy the holidays and hope he will think of your time together, you know you will- say so.
No games. No confusion. No hurt feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): Wow he sounds like a jerk. He's going home so he's probably thinking about that. I wouldn't hold my breath for him. Unfortunately lots of men do this. You have a great time and then they lose interest. Next time, don't drink on the first date so you don't end up making out at his place.
I leaned this the hard way. This guy begged me to come over and then he said, oh I thought you had more willpower than that! What a nasty comment but you know what, I'm glad he said it because he wasnt my type anyway and now I am on my best ladylike behavior when I date a new guy.
You won't regret this tactic. No drinking, kissing, cuddling on the first or even 3 rd date!! Good luck to u
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