A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey thanks so much for this im really struggling with something...alright, I met this guy on facebook a few months back commenting on my friends status and we added eachother and we hit it off as good friends you know?He is a famous pro wrestling and kick boxing champion in Canada... now recently I started having these feelnigs for him, like a huge strong attraction for him, i didnt even know where these feelnigs came from because i am not the kind of person who just dates people generally right?so of course i start thinking about him and missing him like crazy, he offered to come down from london ontario to take me out for my birthday at the beach (i was thrilled about it), i wanted to see him and i wanted to be with him because my feelings for him were developing and becoming real. Now since i started having these feelings all i wanted to do was talk to him, without sharing the fact that i really liked him and wanted to express them to him without his knowlege (yet)so one day a few days ago (on facebook) i left a message on my status saying '' o someone doesn't answer their messages anymore'' now i never meant it to hurt him or embarrass him or offend him. he comments on my status saying ''o i suppose that that was directed at me ! im well busy'' i sign off and then sign on again and he wrote a fuking half paragraph for me to readhe said ''i would appreciate it if you didnt write shit like that on your status about me, i thought you knew my life, why didnt you just use your brain, im with my mom and she is thinking and shit, and im gettin ready for my dads death, next time why didnt you jst ask me why i wasnt on or why i hadn't talked to you in a while instead of putting something in your status like that?''so of course i completely felt like shit, i mean his dad was dying and i put something on my status like that! now okay i understand me not messaging you and asking you why your not there... but i left it there as a joke, i was laughing when i wrote it.o course no lol beside it but it was a joke to me and then he went and read it and then like shouted at me for it.. im sitting here baffled so i send him like two messages on facebook, i even call him how many times to get a hold of him, gave him my number so that he could call me and we could talk... but he kept saying that ''its okay dont wry about it, next time just watch out for what say okay?''now of course im still feeling like shit I have a thing for hurting peoples feelings, and i cant handle forgiving myself for doing that to someone especially if it wasnt intentional so i call him, left a heartfelt message for him and there was no call back still no call back..so im waiting and waiting, so I finally sign back on facebook and change my status to ''im so sorry for hurting you and that it will never happen again, and I am strugglng with forgiving myself for doing it to you'' at the end i put ''i love you too much to let go'' and all he replied to that was a fuking ''OKAY'' I was like wow I sat down there and apologized how many timees to you and at the end of this message told you that i loved you unconditionally (in a platonic sense)... I'm thinking all this in my head of course... so i go to my mom and tell her and she was like completely changed my perspective on this situation. she was like why are you letting him make you feel like shit, even when you werent trying to hurt him, why are you aplogizing when it was even meant to make him feel like shit, why are you letting this white man dictate to you what the hell he should make you feel, and she told me to tell him that its so imature to know that you are willing to throw away a wonderful friendship OVER FACEBOOK which was true.... of course while listening to my mom I was typing this huge message to him because my mom changed my whole entire perspective on him and i was cussing at him...So i thought something to myself, how about i change my status to ''I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW'' just to see what he will do.... now i never meant it actually for him, it was a test to see what he would have done... now this is all after i apologized how many times to him... i get a status comment saying that ''well i already knew that, whats new? well i hope you take care of yourself... tata bye''and im like WTF i write something on my status and that means its automatically about you now? how is it that you can tell me that i should ahve asked questions before putting something on my status when you came out of know where and assumed that the message was obviously about you, which it wasnt?now right after i wrote that on my status and right after he wrote that comment on my status he put on his status that '' IM DELETING MY FACEBOOK IN AN HOUR'' and im just like wow, he's actually going to delete his faceook over small bullshit like this. before i got my message to him he deleted his facebook and i was soooooooooo ANGRY I was like hold on, you sat there and didnt even let me explain the new status i put up, and you up and just deleted your account before you even get to talk to me??!?!?!?!?!?!so im sitting there sooo angry and fucked up, so i find another account that he has an put the message in there then after that im just thinking hold fuk what if he never gets it... so im frustrated about it again even more because he may not get it.... so i was full on cussing in this message and i had no sympathy, i even confessed my feelings in it and everything, then after that i got no message back to me....so then I was like fine , lemme just check myspace to see if you have an account he does, except that he hadnt been on in 2 years... but i sent him a message anyways... because i was angry and desperate and mad at him for going all out on me about a simple fuking message that was a joke, if that were me and my mom was dying god forbid, and i was just having a really crappy and sad day, I would just let that person know that my mom was ill and that I am dealing with alot right now, sry i couldnt get back to you i'll message yu when i feel al litte better.THATS ALL HE HAD TO SAYyea im dealing with a lot of bullshit in my life too, does that mean im going to take it out on someone who cares about me and just wanted to talk to me because they missed me and needed to hear from me because they were dealng with shit to?now so we have this clear this guy is 27 years oldokay yes i know kinda old but its not like we were fuking so i was fine with having those feelings for him. why did he have to go all out and cuss at me? i dont get it? It was only a joke and he deleted his account before he even knew if the ''I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW'' is even about him. I'm so mad and angry right now because I really honestly was developing strong feelings for him, he was supposed to be coming down for my birthday and i wanted to see him badly, because i missed him, and had never met him before....he is such a nice guy and everything and I had never met anyone like him beforeso i was hip deep in attraction that I wanted to pursue. I mean was i wrong for posting that on my status, was i wrong for testing him and seeing if he would react to that last status thingy, was i...im mad because i want him, and now i cant have him because he has deleted his account, won't answer his phone,won't message me backhow the fuk am i supposed to get a hold of him and mend this... because i want him to be with me... I'm having a hard time getting over this because it hit me sooo hard in the face that i dont know what to think, and im going crazy thinking about him... i wonder if it wasnt for that first status would he still be coming on my birthday, and would he still have his facebook account.Right now i have no sympathy for him because he yelled at me on facebook, yeah i know your dealing with shit, but you swear at me and then assume that the last status was about you? so you take out your anger and delete your account?why is it he took his anger out on me, when all I wanted to do was hear his voice or talk to him on facebook.I can understand someone who has been through alot of bull shit and just needs to be away from facebook,myspace, tdowire, cell phone anyting that means that they have to talk to other people...I understand that, but it wasnt my fault that his father is dying, im astonished because he went from saying ''im well busy to'' a half paragraph of telling me off..now im thinking that because he is twenty seven and looks at me as a child he felt the need to yell at me to CORECT ME!! excuse me who are you trynna yell at me? like you yelling at me is not going to hurt my feelings, i apologized and apologize dand apologized to him, and then tested him by putting ''I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW''im thinking why didnt he think thathmm, why is it that after how sympathetic i was being after he told me about his dad and evrything,and after how many times i apologized why would i all sudden hate you so much? why? and you sat there and told me that you already know that i hate you, when I ahve never told you i hated you ever?1?! with - I miss him and im not sure what to think i just need an honest person's opinion because im lost and not sure what to do.Thanks so much for listening sorry its soooo long.
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male
reader, Nathan1  +, writes (17 January 2011):
You dont really deal with rejection that easy, I think you read far too much into this. Had you actually ever met? Turn the computer off. Off off. Get out of the house and clear your head. You're fixated on this guy who shouldn't have led you on. Find someone local to hang out with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): thnks everyone for the adviceI just found out todaythat this guy i was talking towasnt the guy i was talking toI thought that this man was Mark but he was a guy pretending to be theMark this is about its soo fuked and everythingthe guy im talkng about is famous andi was told that he has had people do that: make upprofiles resembling him and it not being themso truth and in factthis is a complete stranger who i have no clue who he is, he was pretending to the Mark I thought that he wasI actually talked to the right person i was in contact withand he said o thats fine its just a misunderstandingand we are okay now, butthe person who i was talking tolied and faked his profile on facebookthe real Mark said its okay we are fine it wasjust a misunderstanding this whole situation is a screw up because the person i was talking to i have no idea who theyreally are this is all irrelevant
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A
female
reader, girlie2  +, writes (1 August 2009):
Some people do not want Facebook updates every 5 minutes from you. This guy had a lot of emotional drama going on already and did not need any more crap from you. Try to understand what he was going through. You need to learn how to communicate with people, not just post whatever randon thought comes to mind for everyone to read.
I would have deleted you far sooner than he deleted his account (which means he probably set up a new one that you cannot find).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): thnkyou so much
for your advice
i had to answer back to my own question
because i forgot my own question code
thnks again
;)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 July 2009):
 Im sorry, but you and a LOT of young people, need to realize that there is a WHOLE world out there. It is not a way to live or have friendships/relationships on a darn website, be it Facebook, MySpace or whatever.
Another thing is this, You might write something you consider being funny or sarcastic and unless the person reading it, KNOWS you really well ( and I don't mean on the Internet, I mean, know you) it can be interpreted in so many ways.
So he deleted his Facebook, so what? Obviously he have enough drama in his life and you just added more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): Oh Boy. I know you're really angry about this but you need to forget about him. If he wants to act really gay about something so stupid just let him. He obviously has mental issues then. NOBODY should get so mad if somebody said something like you said as a joke. It was a joke, you have to be stupid to not get that it was a joke. Maybe he's too angry an emotional right now because he's going through a lot and that's why he responded that way, but I do think it was kinda fucked up that after ALL the apologies he only gave you an OKAY. Screw him!. And it's also stupid how he thought that everything you wrote on your status was about him. He thinks he's so important. I really can't find an explanaition to why he said he already knew you hated him. That is just weird. Don't worry about it. Why do you want to be friends with someone so difficult with mental issues anyways. I know is hard but don't wait around for him to call you or message you back. As hard as it might be try to forget about him. I'm sure you'll have an awesome birthday without him. You don't need him. Good luck and stay stronge. Don't let this get to you. HE'S WRONG not you so don't feel guilty for anything. You never meant to hurt him and even if you did you apologized many many times so HE'S the one acting like an ass hole now. Don't worry, move on and if he ever contacts you talk about what happened, if he doesn't who cares you don't need him but don't wait around for this loser to contact you. Move on and forget about him as hard as it might be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): thnkyou so much
for your advice
i had to answer back to my own question
because i forgot my own question code
thnks again
;)
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A
female
reader, msiluvr666 +, writes (31 July 2009):
I think changing your status the first time was a mistake, and I can understand why he got mad and told you off. Think of what he's going through, he must be under so much pressure and be so depressed. Sure it wasn't good for him to take it all out on you, but honestly, can you get mad at him with the situation he's in? It must be really hard on him. I don't think you should have sent him the message where you cussed him out. That was a stupid move. And sure you said sorry, but sometimes sorry is only a word, and this guy is already damaged from his dad dying and everything, why would he believe you were really sorry? I know you have feelings for this guy, but I think you're being a little selfish. You aren't thinking enough about what he's going through. Just leave him alone and stop talking to him, and he'll contact you when he's ready.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): thnks so much for your advicei have to use a answer box because i forgot my code, but thankyou soo much
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A
female
reader, msiluvr666 +, writes (31 July 2009):
I think changing your status the first time was a mistake, and I can understand why he got mad and told you off. Think of what he's going through, he must be under so much pressure and be so depressed. Sure it wasn't good for him to take it all out on you, but honestly, can you get mad at him with the situation he's in? It must be really hard on him. I don't think you should have sent him the message where you cussed him out. That was a stupid move. And sure you said sorry, but sometimes sorry is only a word, and this guy is already damaged from his dad dying and everything, why would he believe you were really sorry? I know you have feelings for this guy, but I think you're being a little selfish. You aren't thinking enough about what he's going through. Just leave him alone and stop talking to him, and he'll contact you when he's ready.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): Sorry you had a Facebook off, but in the future, these kinds of misunderstandings are best handled in face to face conversations, not over Facebook. You were too aggressive back to him, you should be the bigger person and stop writing to him or contacting him at all.He is going through a rough time with the death of his father so that tends to make people lash out over stupid things, it's no excuse, but at least try to have some compassion for him and not make this all about you.I think you are probably too young for this 27 year old and you should just move on.I also think you need to get away from the computer and facebook and live in the land of real friends who are really in your life and can carry on a real conversation instead of a few lines back and forth.Stop contacting him at all, let him contact you if he wants to do so because you are just chasing him and hassling him in his mind.You go on and on about this just like in your post I imagine, guys don't like that, they get mad that you are talking to them when they don't want to talk about it right now. The guy sounds like a jerk any way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): I think you need some tough love, so here's my opinion (and i say this to HELP you):He doesn't want to be friends with you let alone anything more.
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A
female
reader, night gurl +, writes (31 July 2009):
 um i dont really wanna read the rest but you could try puting that you are extremely sorry, i was just kidding but it wasn't very funny and you're having a hard time 'cause youre thinking about how he was mad at you and you were realy upset and you still are. see if that helps any
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