A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My bf of 1.5 years broke up with me, and got himself engaged to a woman of his parents choice in a week's time... he met this woman and in two days time he decided he wanted to marry her and got engaged in a week. My life has been very, very lonely without him... I miss him every second of everyday... the woman he got engaged to lives in a diff country and she went back... they are planning a Dec wedding.Now, this guy wants to keep in touch as good friends. Is that fair?? He loved me very, very much... and we were very sure of each other. It was bad enough what he did... now he wants to be friends because it is difficult for him.. but what about me??
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female
reader, pica +, writes (10 August 2006):
I'd say forget the friends idea, it might salve his guilt but it will be much, much harder for you. Put yourself first - he's put his own needs first. I know it's tough but don't be hanging around in the background, available when it suits him else you could be hanging on for years, a spare part. Rebuild your life, in the future you will meet someone who can give you what you are worth. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): It is just the way it is Hon.
Men that come from a very strong sense of community and culture and who are heavily influenced by religion/faith more often than not will marry a woman who comes from the same faith and culture. I think this is what has happened with you.
I am sure if you had asked this man a year ago if he could ever see himself being married to you; he would have said no and said that it was cultural and expected.
It isn't fair.
I say if his soon-to-be wife ever finds out who you were to this man; it will not pretty.
It's even more difficult for you.
You have to deal with the sting that you were "not good enough" for him. OUCH.
Walk away. He couldn't even be a friend to you and be honest about his intentions.
Good luck.
*hugs*
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