A
female
age
41-50,
*attatonic
writes:so i've been friends with this guy for about 4 months now, we've hung out and we're cool with each other. we get along really well and decided that neither of us wanted a relationship but that we wanted to have sex with each other. sort of a friends with benefits kind of thing. then he texted me yesterday wanting to come over and have sex (this would be our first time together) but he couldn't get it up...he's 20 and i am 28. was he just not attracted enough to me to do it? or is this his problem?
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female
reader, cattatonic +, writes (21 April 2009):
cattatonic is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for answering guys and gals, i appreciate it. makes me feel a bit better that most of you think it has nothing to do with me. i was just shocked a 20 year old would have problems like that. and yes i made him feel comfortable about it, i told him it was no big deal, he said he felt like an asshole, but i assured him he wasn't and it happens to everyone at some point. its too bad too, he's really sexy and i wanted him bad! hopefully he tries again at some point. :)
A
female
reader, cattatonic +, writes (21 April 2009):
cattatonic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all of the advice, no i was very sweet about it and told him not to worry about it that it was no big deal. but i never made him feel bad about it at all. i know better than that! haha. well i've actually never slept with a man as i was in a relationship with a woman for almost 10 years, we broke up a few years ago and she was my first but we still live together and are best friends. he's very shy and told me it was only a one time thing, but then he couldn't get it up so i just wondered if it was me! but yeah he does have a lot on his mind and is stressed out, plus it was 102 here yesterday, im sure that didn't help!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): no, it's performance anxiety or something is troubling him he might not realize. the guy i dated had a similar problem and we couldn't figure it out, but then we became fwb because he didn't want commitment and suddenly then was never an erection problem again. so maybe your dude feels a secret guilt for this type of relationship, maybe he's just nervous, but whatever the case do not push him about it or make him feel guilty about it because that only makes it worse. just try to make him feel comfortable and hopefully that should work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): My bf can't keep it down when were together, hahaha! Maybe he isn't attracted to you, or maybe it's a one-time thing. I'm no doctor so I don't know everything, but maybe more foreplay, kissing, etc?
Good luck, I hope this was helpful,
-GG
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): he texted you wanting sex so he does fancy you. he might have problems that are causing him stress which then caused the problem or he might of been nervous. cos it has happened he will now be more worried, make sure you dont do or say anything that put him under pressure to perform cos that will only make it worse.
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