A
female
age
41-50,
*lma2107
writes:I met this guy over the summer and we became fast-close friends ever since. We like each other very much (not just a friendly way). However, he's in a 4-year relationship. We have not done anything with each other; not even holding hands. Yet, he would constantly tell me how much I mean to him or if he wasn't in a relationship he would make us work, etc., Everyday, he would call me and message me to see how I am or see what I'm doing (he's constantly on my mind). Deep inside I do want them to break up, but I don't want to say anything that would trigger a break up, because I do believe in karma. I don't know what to do...I love his company, and I love the fact that he can give great advice in tough situations that I've faced and make me laugh like there's no tomorrow, but I feel remaining "just friends" or "best friends" is impossible at this point, because we have already shared how we feel for each other...and these feelings are not feelings you have for a friend.Please, what should I do?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (27 November 2008):
 He's baiting you and you're gladly accepting it. If you believe in karma then you'd keep distance. You say you have not done anything with each other. That is not true. This is the first thing you need to own up to. He throws compliments and flirtatious hints to you and you're OK with it. That is SOMETHING, not nothing as you mentioned.
I understand our feelings are not black and white. If you wanted to really do the correct thing, you'd leave him alone. He's taken and you know it. Based on what you said, you can never be "buddies/friends". That is not what you're interested in. You need to be honest with yourself about that.
Here's a test. Get together with his partner, tell her about everything and ask if she minds you being her boyfriends pal. If she says OK, go for it.
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