A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi I really need some help regarding my husband's behviour towards me in front of our son. I met him when I was 18 and we got married when I was 19 and he was 24 and we've been married for nearly 11 years and we have a two year old son. It took me a long time to get pregnant because my husband has a low sperm count so he had to go on medication etc and finally, we had our son. The problem is my husband puts me down a lot, including making comments in front of our small son. One example includes him saying 'mummy's got shit for brains ha ha' when we were out at the park and we wer camcording our son on the swings and I took the camcorder to film and couldn't quite work it so he started laughing and making the 'shit for brains' comments as a 'joke'!!! A few minutes later he saw me looking upset and said, again jokingly, 'u alright babe?' and I said 'no' cos I just didn't see how it was funny. The other thing is that he is very controlling and he doesn't really trust anyone or me! I usually go out for a drink or meal with a friend on Friday evenings and one evening he spied on us to see what we were up to. Then another time I was walking to the bus stop to get to work and I bumped into a male colleague (I am a nurse) and I saw he had followed me....I was upset and spoke to my manager at work about it and she said she thought that was a bit 'creepy'. He also undermines my job and reduces my nursing saying 'oh go and clean people's bottoms or whatever it is you do'!!I feel so unhappy and actually, ironically i DO feel like going to another man for comfort not because I am untrustworthy but because I feel he is driving me to it. If I try to talk to him he either laughs or gets annoyed and calls me a 'stupid bitch' or walks off in temper! I desperately need some advice?? Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (11 March 2010):
I think daddy got shit for brains. No man who truly loves you would say these sorts of things.
Sure it may be said once in an argument but not repeated. Its harder because there is a child involved but I would seriously think about leaving him and taking your son with you.
A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (11 March 2010):
seems like he has some trust issues but following you why would someone do that unless they thought there partner was cheating on them if he has the idea you are cheating he could be following you but then they say when you have a suspicious mind its because you are up to something yourself which mite explain why he is being horrible to you.he shouldnt be underminding you infront of your son as your son will grow up thinking its alrite to do the same to you and other women that he mite date when he gets older.are you happy with this man?i think you need to sit him down and tell him that even if he is joking the things he is saying about you is hurting you and that the relationship is suffering from this but if he gets angry then id consider leaving him as nothing will change
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