A
female
age
30-35,
*eather016
writes:He doesnt want me anymore. I know I've been stupid but I went back begging him to come back. He keeps saying it's impossible and he doesnt want me anymore. I've been depressed, had medical leaves and ive been excused from lectures. It's not like I want this to happen but I really can't study now. I dont feel that I still love him but it's really about the dissatisfaction of him telling me he had to choose between two girls and that he's dating her now. What do I do? I really want to move on. I feel so worthless that I begged him. What do I do now? Do I tell him that I dont really love him anyway or just ignore. He would forever be thinking like, wow, i had these two girls and i chose the foreigner girl. and that girl that begged me to go back to her, she's so worthless! omg when i think of it! =( what do i do? please help
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female
reader, heather016 +, writes (12 March 2010):
heather016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell... that time when i last talked to him, he obviously made it clear he doesnt want me anymore. i do feel it's more of an ego issue because i feel as though i'm the second option and i obviously am something he doesnt appreciate.
and actually i've been having lots of stress in studies and sports too, which made me so weak and went to "beg" for him.
he told me he's changed. his feelings for me has changed. he's still immature for the commitments i think and i've never imagined my life with him anyway.
but it really has been hard on me. all the weeping and breakdowns...
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 "Don't Ever Give up If You Still Want to try,
Don't Ever Wipe Your Tears If You Still Want to cry.
Don't Ever Settle for an Answer If You Still Want to know.
Don't Ever Say You Don't Love Him If You Can't Let Him Go."
Don't go a begging , it makes you clingy and pitiful!Don't descend to that level because it is a big turnoff.
He has made his decision and that is final.Whether you like it or not ,it is the end .Close this chapter in your life. Go back and explore your own world .
It takes time to get over someone that you really care about, and don't worry you will pull through and things will get better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): Hi, I think you need to redress the balance a bit. You gave your power away to him when you begged him to come back. If you had been together for years and years and been planning a future I could understand your reaction but you are young and studying with a whole life ahead and there will be many guys who will choose you. However when you're young I think you might deal with things in a certain way because you don't have life and relationship experience so maybe you overreacted .. If you see him/speak to him you could just be cool & make it clear you were quite busy & pressured with your studies so you might have overreacted. Don't play games but just be honest and say you do/did care for him but what is meant to be will be - however that conversation would be if you loved him and want him back. You are saying you don't really love him and are just upset that he choose someone else, so this could be an ego issue for you so the best thing to do, if you can, is just look great, have fun and not speak to him at all (but just say Hi in a friendly casual way if you DO bump into him). Let him see you are carefree and happy without him. A friend of mine once said 'the biggest slap in the face you can give to someone who rejected you is to ignore them completely'! Don't play games, be polite if you see him but don't spend any time or effort on him. If you want him back that is another matter but if you are honestly saying it's just upset you that he chose another girl, then that issue starts within yourself. I read recently that one of the secrets to happiness is let go stuff connected to the ego and all the emotions it can provoke (jealousy, insecurity, low self esteem). Maybe you are feeling like second best, second choice .. but that doesn't mean you are not good enough, it just means that he chose to date this girl .. but he is not God, or Buddha, he is just a man, so what does his opinion really matter?? She may just be a rebound anyway and it may not work out. If you love him and want him back I would suggest talking to him calmly, only once, not begging, just stating how you felt/feel whilst still making it clear that you can live without him and let him know you have other options too. Post again if you need to. Good luck. :) x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): Forget the guy. I only know where you come from when you say you "begged," but simply hearing the term makes it seen that much degrading. If the fact was that he had to choose her over you, then realize that no guy be a priority if you're only an option.
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