A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My bf of 2yrs gave me an engagement ring(only) on x-mas eve. Honestly I thought he wouldn't want to get married again. First marriage when he was a teen. Second, she cheated on him. Couldn't blame him if he had reservation on marriage. (I've never been married)The ring I liked, but I wasn't in love with it. Had to take it back to get it resize. When I found out how much he paid for it. I kind of felt guilty. And the warranty was only for 3yrs!I told him that we could get more bang for his bucks. We could go to a pawn shop. He basically said "Hell no" I made him go another jewelry stores then to look at other rings for the same amount. I found one that was somewhat similar to what he got me. But the style was much better. Also had the band to match.The other one he would of had to make another purchase. So he ended up spending less. My guilt NOW that he PICKED that ring for me. And I chose another one.Was I wrong or right? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (29 December 2013):
 First up, what a lovely unexpected surprise – Congratulations! :)
I see where you’re coming from as you sound practical and what girl doesn’t know what she likes when it comes to, THE RING? For me it’s a case of his budget and her choice at this age [41-50].
Here you simply planned ahead by having a band to match… So there’s no need to feel guilty no matter how much ‘he decided’ to spend, as your Fiancée could well have thought of this idea himself, or proposed marriage and suggested you both go Engagement ring shopping as to purchasing the ring himself? No harm done either way.
But how sensitive is your Fiancée about this turn of events? I would think he’d want to see you happy? He may well have picked “that ring for you” with his sentiments, but it still wasn’t a family heirloom you turned down, which would have been more sentimental for you to wear if that were the case.
Yet you choose a somewhat similar design which incorporates his original sentiments and your practicality; to me that’s a good reflection of you both :)
Congratulations – CAA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2013): It's not a matter of right or wrong really but how you both feel about it.
No reason to feel guilty unless it's really upset him.
When I got my wife her ring, I took the time and attention having it made to suit her tastes. I was hoping she'd love it and she did, but if she didn't I'd happily let her choose another.
That ring on her finger is a reminder of the day she found out I want to be with her for the rest of my life and of my love for her, I want that to be something she loves to look at and show off. Plus the plan is for her to wear that for the rest of her life, I'd hate it if I thought she had to wear something that significant and she wasn't really very fond of it aesthetically. That would trump any kind of disappointment I may have that my initial choice wasn't perfect.
Just talk to him and see if you have any reason to feel guilty. I don't see any reason why he'd be upset but he may feel differently to me. In terms of being right or wrong, there's not an issue. It's all a matter of personal opinion.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 December 2013):
 I'm old fashioned. I believe the GUY pays for it, he picks it out.
My husband and I have VERY different taste when it comes to jewelry. But I know in this day and age most women PICKS out their own rings.
I would NEVER have picked out the one my husband proposed with - not in a million years lol. But I wore it and loved it because HE picked it out.
I understand why he'd want you to get a "new ring" not one from a pawnshop, even though your idea is very thrifty.
If he is OK with you making changes, then all is good. That is something you would need to talk to him about.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 December 2013):
 It's a bit of a tricky situation. On the one hand he's paying and it's kind of a gift. On the other you are expected to wear it every single day for the rest of your life and look at it every day.
I think so long as you were very nice about it and made sure he knows you really appreciate his effort and gift, I think it's alright. Just be very very nice about it...
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