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female
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*anny
writes: i've recently found out that my boyfriend of 4 years was cheating on me,he appologised though and wants me back in his life. we;ve been trying to work aorund it but now i feel like im forcing things because sometimes he seems like hes not interested anymore,hes got excuses,sometimes he doesnt answer his phone or dont come when he said he will come and dont bother to call to say hes not coming anymore(hes excuse is that he didnt want to dissapoint me thats why he didnt call!- i love him so much and i dont imagine my life without him,we;ve been through a lot together and i wish things could be back to the way it used to be but i feel like im the only one who wants this relationship to work,sometimes he makes me feel good though,i dont know wht to do now,i tried everything and even talking to him about it,must i forget about our relationship? please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): i know of good men cheating not once but 10 x ... my brother, my cousin and yes my own dad.. they all cheated behind their loved ones (and these women suffered emotionally and mentally) ... and yes i was involved with a man who claimed to be single and he cheated on his gf of 8 years 10times ..sad to say i was the 10th girl so far...and he can't leave his gf of 8 years because he has all the comfort, security and convenience but when it comes to play time he's out there like a pro. and these men will truly convinced that they've changed and will never ever cheat again... go figure ...now what ? i promised to myself that if ever i have a bf or husband who will cheat on me i'd consider that emotionally and mentally abused.. do i want to be abused ? NO .. do you ?
A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (13 October 2006):
I think that Lostandalone has put his finger on something
crucial - the time factor. I would say, slow down & take
a deep breath & really & truly be yourself.... do all the
things that make YOU happy & put HIM on the "back burner".
Sometimes one needs ones own personal growth time, don't
try so hard & see what happens.
LIFE'S AN ADVENTURE!
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (13 October 2006):
 I don't think you gave him enough time to realize how much you mean to him and how much his life would be affected without you in it. Tell him you need time to get your feelings together and go out and have fun and make new friends, try new things and discover life without him. He will realize then what he is missing. You let him back in to easy and now he feels he can do whatever he wants and you will always be around. Make him feel the pain and this will open his eyes. Trust me, thats what it took for me and I will never ever take my woman for granted AGAIN!!!
Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2006): Once a cheat always a cheat! Like all men he's just keeping his options open - knowing that good old you will always be there for him no matter what he does or says!!! He wants to have his cake and eat it too!! IF he wanted your relationship to work he would be the one ringing you after what he's done!!! Even if he have to cancel a date or whatever he would ring you and let you kno and organise another one instead!! I know its hard to move on but believe me there are much better guys out there than him!! I know from past experience as my fiance cheated on me with my best friend. Move on from this guy and put it down to experience, get on with your life! Let him know that you don't need him or depend on him in your life! Be a bigger and stronger person than him and just walk away from him. I know you love him but is it really worth the heart ache and pain he's putting you through at the moment?? I don't think so! If you wanna IM me or chat at any time - feel free to do so :) best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2006): I think he's playing around with your feelings. He's probably keeping you on the back burner so to speak, so that when no on else is available you will be there for him. He cheated on you, if he was really interested in putting things right for you both, then he wouldn't be making it difficult for you. he would be ringing you constantly and not behaving the way he is. I know you love him but whatever you do don't sleep with him, because that will not make him love you back. Just you play hard to get for a while, if he is really interested then he will make the effort. Otherwise move on and find someone who can love and respect you.
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