A
female
age
,
*heresa123
writes:Ive dated this man for 19 months now. When we first started dating, after a month I found out that he was sneaking around with a married woman twenty years younger than him. It didnt bother me too much because I did just meet him and wasnt looking to fall in love. He thought he got rid of her, but now...Im not so sure she hasnt been in our relationship from time to time. I caught him last week texting another married woman with sexual inuindoes. I could tell by the texts that they had met and did the dirty, but he denies that. He had been seeing this one for two months before I found out. I do love him, but, Im scared to death of disease, something you cant get rid of. I dont believe theres much use in a man if you cant trust him enough to where you feel like using a condom with him, not after this long. Im afraid to let him go but I cant keep going like this. Im full of hurt and resentment, anger. Does that ever go away...its been three weeks since and my feelings are going off the deep end! My decision making is way off right now. I am a one man woman, and Ive always expected the same. I lost all trust in him...Any feedback would be good about now.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
It does sound like he's cheating, and he has in the past, hasnt he. You know you deserve better than this. It's very easy for a man to say 'I love you'. It's far different to mean it. Tell him he can have that girl, and you go and find yourself a good man who will commit to you. Take your time getting to know the man as well. :) Lots of luck.
A
female
reader, Theresa123 +, writes (4 October 2009):
Theresa123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I do understand what you are telling me and its all Ive been reading. I guess Im having a hard time trusting my judgment because Ive been married all my life until my husband eight years ago. Ive never been cheated on before and dont know the signs, and it is beyond me to accuse anyone of anything or be jealous...I like myself more than that and Im too good a woman to deal with that drama.Let me tell you what my reason to feel he is cheating is...the texts I read: him: "where u at prissy?" her: "where u want me" him: "next 2 me" two hours later , although he deleted her text that prompted this answer...him: "its ur fault u make me that way" ...he wrote this word for word to me not a month before after I commented on the sex we just had through text after he left. Did he or didnt he...and will it continue? He swears he never touched her and it was casual flirting...he cant tell me what way she "makes him"...am I right in knowing him and her screwed on his lunch hour as a realestate man showing her houses? I dont want to be wrong because he is very sweet and expresses much love for me still, but I cant find trust in him...it hurts.
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A
female
reader, Theresa123 +, writes (4 October 2009):
Theresa123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know exactly what you are saying to me and its all ive been reading...its just when you love there is some denial..ive never been cheated on before and dont know the signs, maybe I dont trust myself . why do I believe he cheated? My problem? I caught him texting a married woman..example: right before his lunch hour, which he used to spend with me..."where u at prissy?" she said "where u want me?"..him "next 2 me"..two hours later...him: "its ur fault u make me that way". (he deleted what she sent to him to prompt that answer)He cant tell me which way she makes him, and he said the exact same word for word to me two months before this after I complimented just having sex with him. He swears he did nothing and its casual flirting. He still is a very caring man, spends alot of time with me...but he still turns his phone off at nite "to save the battery" should he stay with me. Ive never been an accusing person and dont want to condemn someone because I might be reading into things that might not be there...so you tell me, after reading those texts...Did he or didnt he have sex with her? In my mind he did because we had the same discussion and I "made him that way". But my heart says hes full of shit..dump him no matter how bad it will hurt.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (3 October 2009):
 He showed you from the get-go that he was the cheating type, so why are you surprised that he's a cheater? That's like being surprised a tiger has stripes.
Break up with him and find a real relationship with an honest man that you can trust. No point waiting around for a cheater to change, because they don't.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2009): No offense, but you are old enough to know what to do. This is not your first time around the rodeo and I think at this point you are aware of who you are and what you will tolerate. This guy is loser. You know what to do no has to explain that.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 October 2009):
 I am afraid you have about all the proof you need. If you've already caught him, he does not care about you or your relationship. and the longer you stick around the more likely this will continue.No one can find love in their relationship if they are seeking love outside of it.Time to move on.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (3 October 2009):
 You should not have to feel that you need to use a condom after this long in a supposedly committed relationship. That is beyond ridiculous. He is obviously not trustworthy, and not worth your time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009): get rid of him, he is a cheat not once but twice, its only a matter of time before it becomes a third.
and your quite right to worry about disease, if he is not concerned about respecting you i doubt very much he is concerned about infecting you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 October 2009):
You're a one man woman and he's cheated twice. You deserve better that this. This guy won't change. Find a better one who will commit to you. They are out there.
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