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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Right well I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now! we got together on the 26th January 2007 but we split up Thursday of last week! I finished him because he cheated on me while he was drunk and then denied it and said that it was me in the wrong, called me a slag and told me he never wanted to see me again! So I was really pissed off! But the think it I love him obviously we went out for a year! He was my first love and I want him back soo bad! every time his name gets mentioned my heart melts. I really want him back! He told us that we never have fun any more and our relationship is based on the sex =( how can it be based on sex but never have fun! I just never know what to say to him an more, I want to try move on but I cant! I cant eat! I cant sleep! I cant go out! I haven’t been to school since we split up and all I have done since is cry ;’( I just feel like curling up and crying all the time! I want him back soo badly! I keep going onto my bebo to change my profile to single and take him out of it but I cant make myself do it, I just cant be without him I love him soo much! Does any one know how I can get over him? pleassee I really don’t know what to do about him I don’t know what to do. I still have some of his stuff and he wants me to go meet him Saturday to give him it back but I don’t want to. I don’t want to give him his things back cos we always have each others stuff and once we have given it back then its deffinatly the end isn’t it? He really does mean it doesn’t he? Will he ever want me back! Pleasee someone help me I cant get over him. what should I do! =(
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bebo , broke up, cheated on me, drunk, move on, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Okay I think that you have to make him want you.He cheated you didn't your not in the wrong he is.Im kind of in the same situation right now.Give him a reason to want to you back show him what he's missing he's not going to go for you if he doesn't have to put up a fight.DONT ACT SO DESPARATE!! even if you are its just going to push him away more.He needs to know you can and will survive with out him Even if you Cant :) dont let him know that becuase then he feels in contol of you.
A
male
reader, rolfen  +, writes (7 September 2008):
 FFS he cheated, YOU went back to him, he doesnt want you???
Get out of there... let the asshole suffer, in 2 weeks when he'll realise what he has spoiled. He will come back begging you...
Go throught the pain and stop trying to change the past. Everything happens for a reason. If you go back with him, the same thing will happen again, and again, and again...
GET OUT... he will dump you sooner or later. If you WANT HIM, the only way is to treat him respect and punish him... believe me, often in life, the best way to get something is to get away from it and wait for it to come to you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 You have a tremendous amount of generosity and forgiveness of your b/f's excesses. He is not worthy of your love and yet you still love him.Are you an angel?
If others can be like you , I think this Dear Cupid site will have to close shop. LOL!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (12 February 2008):
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But i think this site would fall flat on its face if couples had to give both sides of a given story.
[Unquote]
This must be another of your quality advice. Thank you.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Hi anon,
Well, if you are back together and he has apologised (or atleast sees what he did was wrong) then thats a good thing. People makes mistakes and screw up, sometimes its a good idea to give someone a second chance. But remember the saying, i think it goes something like this..Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me.
If he disrespects you again, its highly nlikely he has grown p.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (11 February 2008):
Fair point Laura. But i think this site would fall flat on its face if couples had to give both sides of a given story.
You certainly did imply the poster should feel they need, and should ask, forgiveness. We can only go by what the question asker is telling us (unless as i said, the other side of the story posts) and call me crazy, i dont see that happening most days on here.
I have a strong feeling the question asker knows where i'm coming from.....
[QUOTE]
But if you were to apologize to him ,it would make a bigger difference to your relationship. It is better to be humble than to have pride. Pride is the downfall of many. You broke up because of your pride .
Broke up because of your pride???? PMSFL!
Oh my days...
[UNQUOTE]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell he cheated, he cheated end of, i going out with him while he had slept with another girl and then he kised 2 other girls while i was at a party with him, i saw him kiss one and he told me about the other, he had also told me about this "one night stand" while he was going out with me, so thats how he cheated! thanks for the advice ay way yeah i understand you was lookin at it from both points of view
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (11 February 2008):
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He cheated on you. Why would u want to be with him again? He can cheat on you again.
[Unquote]
This is a stereotype answer. Not everyone is the same. Maybe, the one who said this will cheat again but it does not mean that others will do the same.Not everyone thinks the same like him/her.
[Quote]
Anyway, where were we, the guy is a complete rsehole.The guy in question is a self obssessed prat. Dont sell your soul down the river. He's got a lot of growing to do yet before he's ready for anything long term. Have a back bone.
[Unquote]
Is he still an arsehole? I leave it to you to infer what she meant about you. That is good quality advice and you should have listened to her .
Thats what you get when you become judgmental .
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (11 February 2008):
I am glad you are now back and you did not have to apologize.But if you were to apologize to him ,it would make a bigger difference to your relationship. It is better to be humble than to have pride. Pride is the downfall of many. You broke up because of your pride .
I think you got me wrong. I did not say you were totally wrong. I said in any break up , you cannot blame just one party .Both contribute to the problems.
You cannot get a fair view if you only listen from your side. To be fair to him , you should ask him to tell his side of the story here.
You said he cheated. I wanted to ask , what do you mean by that? Did he have sex with her all the way ?Did you have concrete proof? You need more info before you can give a better advice to your situation. If your cheating is because he kissed another girl , then that is a frivolous reason for a breakup.
If you felt I was rude, I apologize because English is not my mother tongue and I don't write the Brit way of English.It was unintentional.
I try not to be judgmental and will only give advise that is pertinent to your request and not give my judgmental views .
You will be surprised that apology and forgiveness are the magic portions that can work wonders in any broken down relationships.
It does not matter who is in the right or wrong.If you want to mend your break down fast, you will have to apologize even if the other side is wrong. The important thing is you nip the problem in the bud before it becomes fully blown and harder to solve.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thanks Laura :S yeah it looks as if you see it as my fault but then thats up to you isnt it =)he's the one that cheated, wouldn't you break up with him you just cant help the way you feel about someone. we are sorted now any way and we are back together, belive it or not i did NOT apolagize to him and he agreed that him kissing other girls was wrong! thats for the advice everyone =)thanks Laura LOL
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (9 February 2008):
Even if she does not want him back , she has to apologize and forgive him to heal her hurt.This is part of the healing process.You forgive and asked for forgiveness.
If she does not apologize or forgive him , she will have no peace and will be tormented forever.
In any break up , it is not the fault of only one party. If anyone says it is not her fault or she is not to be blamed, then she is just delusional.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (9 February 2008):
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How can saying sorry to a guy thats cheated and blamed you, and ask his FORGIVENESS???? be a good quality advice?
[Unquote]
I think you need to read her question thoroughly. She does not want to break up with him and want him back.She does not want to return his things for fear of losing him forever.
In this context, she has to apologized if she wants him back. Whether he wants her back is another issue.
Though I don't agree with her , I do not judge her. She is like a dog which vomit and then went back to eat it's own vomit.Whoever does that is very pathetic.
If she wants him back , then she would need to apologize to him and this way , it may resolve their problems.Either one has to apologize to mend back the relationship. Do you think the man will apologize?
Your answer is totally out of point. You did not give her an answer but you were judgmental of him. Do you call this good advice?
You can judge me and my reply but since she wants him back, what other alternatives does she have?It is only your opinions and I don't give a damned.
What makes you think your advice is a quality advice?What gives you the right to judge me ?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 February 2008):
Laura, people come on here to ask opinions, and unless i'm wrong, and obviously i sometimes am, i think they like good quality advice. How can saying sorry to a guy thats cheated and blamed you, and ask his FORGIVENESS???? be a good quality advice?
I hope it wasnt me that approved your 'advice' thats all i can say. We want people to actually come back here again :o/
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (8 February 2008):
You asked how to get him back. I don't see where I am rude. If you think my answer is rude, that is OK. You may not like the truth. It does not matter.
Your question ask for an answer and some people are too judgmental. Did you ask for their opinions about him?
Hiskitten,
Did I ask for your unsolicited comments. That is rude !Keep your comments to yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the replies guys really apprieciate it, Laura1318 seems to be rude but never mind. thanks again x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (7 February 2008):
That was a joke response Laura1318 i guess? Noticed a few crazy responses to questions on here from your name. Is it boring in Malasia?
Anyway, where were we, the guy is a complete rsehole.
You know that.
I agree with the annon response, its crazy the amount of people that get crapped on from a great height yet still WANT that person.
It just goes to show there is always someone worse off than yourself.
The guy in question is a self obssessed prat. Dont sell your soul down the river. He's got a lot of growing to do yet before he's ready for anything long term. Have a back bone.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (7 February 2008):
The only thing is for you to apologize to him and admit that you were hasty and asked for his forgiveness.Be humble and then hope that he will forgive you.
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