A
female
age
51-59,
*onna34
writes:I was married for 7 years and then seperated and met a new guy, I have been with him for 4.5 years and have just found out he has been cheating.He met this girl out drinking and they were just texting so he told me. I got her number and then rang her she told me that they had been seeing each other on and off for 1 month.I am not sure who is telling me the truth, he has slept with her and I am heart broken. I have let him back in my life as he promises it is over which I am sure it is. What do I do it is eating me up one minute I want him the next I feel I can't trust him. I think it was a flirt that went too far and he has learnt his lesson.What do you think?
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cheated on me, flirt, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Sorry but I think he will do it again and he's only trying now because he got caught.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): What lesson? It seems like the only lesson you have shown him so far is that if he cheats, you will take him back. So his behaviour is likely to repeat. You don't say that he is bending over backwards to take care of you, and earn your trust back. If he is, then good, let him earn it, and if he does win your trust back and really show you he doesn't want anyone but you, then keep him. But I have my doubts, so make sure you are getting what you want from this relationship.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): I think 4.5 years is long enough for this guy to decide if he is going to marry you, and his cheating is a really bad sign to the health and strength of your relationship..
Is he sorry for hurting you or sorry that he got caught? Why don't you tell him that you deserve better and need more of a permanent commitment as in marriage....and see how serious he is about a future with you, does he talk about the future with you in it? Has he cheated before? I think the woman was probably telling you the straight scoop.
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A
female
reader, Daysie +, writes (21 January 2007):
 I've also had this happen to me, I was living with my ex and also rang the woman he had been texting, found out he had been cheating, he begged me for another change, claiming he would cut all ties with her, even changed his mobile number, but guess what - he did the same again 3 months later with the same woman - he had lied to me again and again, until eventually my love and trust in him died and I got the strength to kick him out. Whilst not wishing to tar all men with the same brush, there is a good change that if he can get away with it once he will do it again. Do you really want to be with a man who cheats behind your back? Think about what YOU want, don't let it turn into a competition between both you and the other woman, neither of you win anything, just end up with a loser! My advice, dump him now before he breaks your heart, move on and find a decent man who will treat you with respect. Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Ordinarygal +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Once its broken, you cant get the trust element back. Its a difficult one and only you can decide. Sorry, but only you have the answers to this one x
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (21 January 2007):
 Well they both have ulterior motives. He might be playing it down to protect you and she might be playing it up so you'll dump him and she can have him. The question is do you honestly believe he's sorry and won't do it again? That's your answer.
CD
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