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female
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anonymous
writes: boyfriend cheated on me when i went to university. i found out from the girl (i didnt know her). i got my own back via humiliation by notifying his parents of what he had been up to, but since then any argument of fall out we have his mother tells him i am manipulative and she feels me telling his family what he did was much worse than him cheating on me in the first place? if he didnt want people to know he wouldnt of done it in the first place, i forgave him and i am slowly starting to trust him again its just his family - mainly his mother that concerns me? not sure what to do, also, is what i did really that wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): Do not worry about his Mother. Obviously, his family doesn’t work well with relationships. So now you know how this family deals with the issue of 'respect in relationships'. The fact is, he cheated on you and you were upset. You told them 'why' and 'what' he did. This Mother's cover-up of her son's poor behaviour is very sad, actually. I am always amazed at how some parents will deny unpleasant news about their offspring because they hate facing the realities of what their irresponsible adult child has done. It's likely she was embarrassed but if she could've simply said, 'I feel bad for what happened', you may have respect for her now. So take what you have learned which is..you won’t be able to fix who they are, or change them. However, you can change yourself by putting this in the past and being pleasant..Carry on and don't let it bother you. Good luck and make your boyfriend 'earn' that trust back...little by little. Take care, hun
A
female
reader, mystify +, writes (14 March 2006):
 you are not manipulative ( a little passionate maybe but wheres the crime in that?!)
his mother is interferring , you came to her in a cry for help, instead of helping she has chose to attempt to destruct what you have .
maybe she didnt like to hear the plain truth of what her son got up to , or maybe she wishes he wasnt tied down , either way remember she is not a part of your relationship.
why not ask your boyfriend to have a word with her ,explain that shes hurting him too, ask him to tell her that he hurt you and you reacted strongly (like any woman should) but now you want to put it behind you and move on , ask him to ask her for her help in doing so
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (14 March 2006):
 In her mind, whilst she knows what her son did wrong, you hurt her little boy and that is what it comes down to.
Regardless of wether your actions were right or wrong, her gaurd is now up and she is instinctively protecting her son.
The best thing you can do be nice to the mother and don't let her get you down. If your man is sensible he will listen to his mother but not take her advice or her views. It sounds like you two have things sorted and that is the most important thing.
Don't let her interfere with your relationship by getting worried about what she thinks or what she might be saying - life is far too short to be worrying about that sort of stuff. Just concentrate on your relationship and forget her.
Your boyfriend will hopefully be sensible enough to make his own decisions and if he does end up listening to his mother, well, you are better off without him.
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