A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I split up with my partner last November and we were going to remain friends, but this has been hard because I kicked him out of my house as he had been cheating on me, not just once but a few times with the same woman. I love him and still do, we have spoken on the phone a few times, but now he says that he has nothing to say to me, he has decided he wants nothing more to do with me and that I should move on. He became very angry that I went through his private stuff then found out he cheated and kicked him out. He knows how much I love him and still do. I am finding it very hard to move on, I keep thinking about all the great times and holidays we had more than the bad times. He was the love of my life and hurt me badly. Why is it that men shut off like this? Could he be hurting too?
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female
reader, depaiva  +, writes (5 February 2007):
I always say once a cheater, always a cheater. I understand the amount of pain you must be going through, he was your first love and your true love and to top it off he cheated on you.
You shouldn't be ashamed that you went through his stuff-you were his girlfriend. He was angry because he had something to hide and you found out. You must realize that things will never be the same between the two of you even if you did get back with him. Right now all you want is to get back with him but think about it, you would always be wondering if he was cheating on you again and you would never truly trust him-is that the kind of relationship you want?
It will take time for you to move on and you'll go through a lot more heartache. But you sound like a strong women, don't doubt your ability to forgive him and let him go-trust me once you forgive and move on you'll feel the kind of happiness you're craving for.
I personally believe, from what you say, that he's not worth fighting for, he's not worth your tears-he betrayed you. You deserve happiness and someone who is willing to give you all the love you deserve. The right person is out there for you and he'll come knocking on your door when you least expect it.
And by the why he's probably hurting too (we all human).
Best wishes and I hope everything works out for you-don't doubt your strength and don't give up on love because it'll knock on your door when you least expect it.
A
female
reader, Sam23 +, writes (3 February 2007):
Hi,
It sounds like you really wanted this relationship to work out but unfortunately experienced infidelity as alot of women do. It seems like you were very angry and now regret being overtly upset because in reality you want to continue this relationship.
However, consider how you would now feel if you had just accepted his behaviour and continued being together even though you both knew he cheated? Is this a position you would be comfortable being in?
It is difficult to get over a valued relationship, that often comes to define pleasant peroids in our lives. But, it does sound like your ex-partner has moved on and wanted to move on although he did not have the courage to be honest about this - entirely his own fault.
Unfortunately, it does sound like the decision has already been made for you. If this is the case it is important that you find a way to move on. Otherwise you risk festering in alot of pain that is unrequited love and betrayal. Consider your own feelings, and ask yourself if you are willing to let go.
Good Luck !
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