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He cheated on 4 girlfriends! will he cheat on me too?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 October 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2009)
A female Canada age 36-40, *oinlovewithhim writes:

So.... my boyfriend of a year and I have talked about moving in together in the new year. We have known each other for like 7 years, and he is not only the love of my life, but my bestfriend.

Thing is, he cheated on 4 of his 4 past g/f's, but says when he felt the way he did after his last g/f cheated on him, he could never do it again. I am his longest relationship, the only one his friends love, the only one to meet his parents, ect.

What's the chances of him cheating on me?

I have been cheated on by many before, and am well aware of the signs, and nothing yet with him.

Will he cheat? or is it safe to say I can move in with him?

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A male reader, Confuzzled012 United States +, writes (8 October 2009):

Confuzzled012 agony auntYou can stay in the relationship but I think you should wait to move in with him. He might not cheat; tasting your own medicine can make you rethink your dosage to others, so he may be sincere. You'll never know until you try I guess. You might end up hurt, you might not. But you'll also end up hurt if you walk away from love because you're afraid of what it'll do to you.

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A male reader, GrimmReality United States +, writes (8 October 2009):

GrimmReality agony auntYoung lady,

come on!

he cheated on 4 GF's and you are considering moving in with him?

You have answered your own question.

Cheaters are all the same,both genders. If you want a boatload of drama and a relationship that ends in disaster, then take the plunge.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (8 October 2009):

Illithid agony auntHe has had four girlfriends, and he cheated on all four of them? Am I reading this right? Or did he cheat on his last four girlfriends after being faithful to earlier relationships?

Either way, he's very high risk. You say he's not the love of your life, so you sound like you're willing to admit that he may not be the right man for you for the rest of your life.

Do you really want to tie yourself down and involve yourself financially with a man you aren't madly in love with and that you know has a very strong chance of cheating on you?

If he were an alcoholic, but gave that up, would you trust him around beer in the future? If he used to be a druggie, but gave that up, would you trust him to stay friends with pot heads? He was a repeat cheater, but he says he gave that up. You CANNOT keep him from being around other women, so can you trust him to keep his hands to himself in the midst of temptation and opportunity in the future?

I won't tell you that a cheater CAN'T reform, but they usually DON'T. Especially when it's been this consistent, with him cheating in every relationship he's had. This isn't a one-time drunken mistake. This is a habit, perhaps even a lifestyle for him.

I can't make your decision for you, but I'd hold off on moving in for a while. Go ahead and keep dating him, but don't invest your entire life and home and credit with a man that you cannot know if you can trust. Until he PROVES to you that he's changed and you can trust him so deeply that you have no need to post on DearCupid, you probably shouldn't trust him with your home.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (8 October 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntTime will tell on the cheating but his track record sure stinks. I'd wait to the last moment if you have to sign a lease.

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