A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently found out that my husband had been cheating on me and now he has moved out. We have a little girl together and I want to get him back. What is the best way to do this? He says he still loves me but he is very confused. He is collecting all his stuff this weekend. Is the best strategy to tell him i need a few weeks away from him and let him stay his distance and then miss me or should I invite him round for visits to see our daughter and try to make this other girl hate him (she will get the impression we are sleeping together - as i know her and speak to her). Please advise me. I am desperate to get him to come home
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2009): I'm going throught the exact samething my husband just moved out about a month ago and cheated on me and is with this other person, and i miss him to death and we also have a daughter together who is only 2years old he calls her everyday on the phone and its hard to hear his voice like nothing ever happened, i never got an explantion only that he needed some space, i'm waiting and waiting and u know wat, i'm getting tired i think we have to be strong and keep ourselves busy everyday and distract our minds in positive ways and see what the future has for the both of us and yes u are right its hard its very hard but we have to be strong and don't show these men our weak side thats when they take advantage and it will take them longer in making up there minds but i know in the long run they will regret it give it time what goes up must come down..BE STRONG!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): He cheated and is in the wrong, but why did he cheat and why did he move out. I would understand if he got kicked out, but him just moving out is something different.
I learned a long time ago that the word ‘confused’ is code for not wanting to admit a truth that one knows but believes will hurt someone he loves.
It is natural for you to want your husband back the two of you created life together, but what you need to do hard as it may be is to take a step back and address the fact that there is a chance that this may not go well. Him moving out is in my opinion not the mark of someone who wants to patch things up, especially if he is willing to put his daughter through the trauma of ‘daddy leaving’. Also you didn’t state that he ‘told you about it’ you stated that you ‘found out’. Don’t be a victim and start thinking about your daughter. Get a divorce lawyer and talk to them about options… do your best to keep it to yourself. Be prepared for the sake of your daughter.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try to mend a broken marriage, you should make it known that you want to still be with him, he is your husband, but you also want him to come back on the condition that he commit to marriage counseling. Give yourself some leverage as right now he’s the guy with two women…
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): The female anonymous directly below makes a very good point, he should be the one begging for you to come back, not the other way around. You have done nothing wrong.
Go find someone more worthy of your love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): Hello, My name is Caroline and I am 19 yrs old. I don't have an account but after reading your story I really wanted to respond. I understand you have a child with your husband, you don't want the family to break up and you recognize that you love him even after he did his dirt on the side. I know how it feels like to be in love and to have a child from the man you love but you should never lower yourself and ask him to be with you. He should be the one asking you to forgive him, telling you he wants another chance for the relationship you guys to work. If he's packing his things and is still confused even after seeing you guys are splitting up then he doesn't deserve you. Why would you want a man back that doesn't feel the minimum least guilt for what he did ? He's obviously not thinking about his daughter if he wants to throw everything away for another woman. Woman like the lady he is with are no good either way. She knows shes breaking up a family and doesn't care at all. As soon as she finds someone better, I guarantee you she will be doing the same exact thing to him! You should focus on being a good mother right now, there are plenty of good men that would praise the floor you walk on if your a good woman. Your husband isn't worth it, as much as you love him you shouldnt have let him known that you wanted him back. Now he knows he has you on the palm of his hands and he won't mind cheating again seeing that it didn't have an affect on you like it would with most woman. If a man cheated on me, he would have to deliver roses to me with my favorite chocolates for the next few centuries, get on his knees everywhere he sees me and beg for forgiveness and take a lie detector test every so often to prove his fidelity to me from that day forward, and thats if I forgive him! Have some dignity and pride sweetheart, if your a good woman you deserve better! I'm sure when your in a relationship with someone else he will realize what he lost! Don't beg him anymore, dont mention the subject anymore.. If he brings it up tell him you've realized that its best for you guys to go seperate ways because your a good woman and dont deserve his infidelity and all of his actions. He will be surprised. Always look beautiful, go shopping for new stylish clothes, and always seem happy and normal around him. He will find that extremely weird. If he ever wants you back and you still want him back, play hard to get at first! Don't let him see you cry okay babes? Hope this advice helped you out! Let him be there for his daughter though and be a good mommy, which Im sure you are. Need any more advice you can email me at [email address blocked] Ciao!!!!! =)
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A
female
reader, angelnikita +, writes (16 January 2009):
Hey there i am sorry abt what your husband did, but i think you should share the resposibilty of your daughter and alow your husband the oportunity to see your daughter after all she is the innocent victim in this and it wouldnt be fair on her and secondly i think also you should give your husband the chance to miss you if he sees you sitting waiting around for him to decide if hes going to come home then he may expect you to always wait for him and may take him long time to decide so give him oportunity to miss you dont always be around when he comes to visit your daughter arrange for some to sit with your daughter like a neibour or your mother when your husbands comes then he will think wha
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