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female
,
anonymous
writes: i have been on and off with this guy for a year and a half and yes he has cheated etc but i still think we could work through it and make a good relationship,so i met him the other day and we had such a good night together we were both so happy,so he asks to see me the following day and i said yes so the next day comes and he dosnt text me all day then i text him the next day asking why hes ignorin me etc and he says "cos im getting with that sarah".and hes now textin a different girl called tracey who he cheated on me with last september.i dont understand why hes being like this???please help!
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female
reader, DEPRESSED +, writes (14 August 2006):
you don't need to figure him out.You need to forget him.Once a cheat always a cheat.He will always play this game if you keep being vulnerable.Let time heal your wounds and keep your head high .A creep like that is bond to get what he deserves.
A
female
reader, helbop +, writes (14 August 2006):
Why are you wasting your time with this??? You should have more respect for yourself. If you had been going out for years and years and had problems maybe you could have worked it out. You were only seeing each other for a year and a half he has no reason to cheat on you. I dont think he is ready to settle down. I think you should stay single for a while.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 Sure, he is a nasty creep...but you don't have any control over him or what he does or have to know why he acts this way - you have plenty of control over what you do however and how you feel about this. He has cheated on you already so it is hardly surprising that he is busy with the ladies again is it? The guy is a player and by meeting him after he cheated on you you have almost given your approval for his cheating (I know you don't feel that way but he will think he can do what he likes to you). You think this relationship could work out long-term but it is obvious that he is not committed to it, and he is also a bit of a pig really - he is rubbing your nose in it, ignoring you and reminding you that he is off with other ladies. He thinks you will forgive him no matter what he does to you so why not prove him wrong? Ignore him, like yourself enough not to put up with this stupid treatment off a creep and don't settle for 'anyone'...find someone who treats you faithfully and nicely, or better still let them find you. Remember that people will be treated the way they allow others to treat them...I wish you good luck for your future.
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A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 I think if you read your letter as though someone else had written it, you would be saying "RUN FOR THE HILLS!! HE IS A PLAYER OF THE WORST KIND! Furthermore, he does'nt respect any woman's feelings!!
Sorry, but you must be able to see what you are dealing with - this b****** just can't keep his trousers on! He must have revolving bedroom doors at his house!
Please, please, PLEASE get out of that relationship before he saps your self-esteem, your confidence and your very will to live!!!
Learn from it, but don't just assume that all men are like this, there is too much bitterness in the world already...just keep looking and learning, sharpen your intuition for sorting the good ones from the chaff, get into a wider circle of friends who will always be there for you as your support when these things happen.
That way when the next 'player' comes around, you can see him for what he really is, and will be in a stronger position to tell him where to 'get off'.
It is when you are most needy that these guys come around, as they can see that you will accept their faults just so that you can feel wanted. Don't be vulnerable. Be strong, and tell him to sling his hook, as you deserve so much better than this! DON'T YOU??? He's not even ashamed of himself, for God's sake - What a loser he is! I wish you all the luck and hope you can find a real man who can cherish you as you deserve to be. I know what you are going through, chick..stay strong!
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