A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:talking to a man who cheated and lied to me for two n half years, someone I made the mistake of sleeping with again last weekend when I knew it was just sex to him. I am going to be in his city again tomorrow and asked him if he wanted to meet for lunch- he said he needed to think about it. Told him he needn't bother. Texted him saying that if he was going to treat me as one of his one night stands now, that is how things will be now. He's called thrice since then, I haven't bothered to answer and really-- I don't have anything to say. I don't even know what I was thinking when I asked him about lunch- especially since I was feeling so dumb about sleeping with him three days ago!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): You know 100% exactly what he's like right now. You know he's trouble. You're not too attached yet. WALK.
If you choose to get involved with him anyway, you'll quickly get really attached, but he'll still be who he is, and then you'll end up crying yourself to sleep at night because you can't change him and you can't bear to leave. It will be nobody's fault but your own.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Don't beat yourself up about last weekend's episode. I know it meant more to you than it did to him, but for heaven's sake do not give him any more power over you. You've given him enough of your time and energy and love. He's not good enough for you, you know that. Now take it into your heart.
Seeing him will only make you miserable. It's not worth it, HE'S not worth it. You know what he is like, you know he's not going to change. Don't keep picking at this wound.
Write him back and tell him that you are cutting contact with him. That you are getting on with your life.
Then DO it. Get on with things, without him. He doesn't need anymore information or talks with you. It's not going to change the fundamental situation. He cheats. He's not going to stop. End of story.
Take care of you now, and stay busy with your life and career and family and friends. And do not spend one more minute of regret or worry about him. This is easy advice to give, but so hard to do, I know. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Hi. Thanks for your answers. For my part, I really loved him- I still do care for him. We lived together for one and a half years. and he cheated the whole time! And i guess I know what I need to do- am just being too stupid not to have done it already!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Okay this is difficult as I have know idea what your relationship was like or how involved you were the 21/2 years you are refering to.
However, it seems that you have a strong physical attraction with this guy and you must have been enjoying yourself to phone him again to suggest lunch.
As you mentioned that he lied to you and cheated on you, it is very obvious that there is no trust or respect between the two of you and that it is merely physical.
I suggest you delete his nuber from your phone, his name from your brain.
Avoid making contact and ignore his calls. You are only going to end up hurting yourself.
Be strong and think of what is best for yourself and your self image longterm.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Heidi328 +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Hello, it is better to cut all ties with this loser. I did the same thing years ago, allowed myself to be used since I was too weak to say no. You said you have nothing to say when he calls. Well, then there is nothing to say. You deserve better, be strong! Leave him be, he's not worth your time.
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