A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I have a complicated story. In 2009 I stayed in Australia for in total 4 months for an internship. I met this guy through a friend of mine, we hit it off instantly, and it was supposed to be something casual. We spent time together for about 2 weeks before I left to travel for 2 months. He asked me to come back and I did for a week, we had a fantastic time. After that I left for Nepal for 6 weeks and wasn't supposed to come back to Australia. He begged me to come back, but I wasn’t capable of paying for a living in Australia for a month. The ticket from Nepal to Australia and from Australia to Belgium cost me all my money. He said he would pay everything. I went back and we had the best month I could imagine, we fell in love. His friends said that he changed from being a restless chaotic type to a peaceful and calm person.We fell in love like crazy, but we didn't want to be in a long distance relationship so we made a deal that we could do whatever we want in each others absence, but when we were physically together we'd be exclusive. If one of us would fall in love with someone else in between, they'd have to tell the truth, no matter how painful for the other.When I came back after 7 months of being apart it was different. He wasn't the person I fell in love with. To make an already long story short, I found out he was "cheating" on me while I was with him in Australia. I moved out to my friends place. On the day I left for Belgium he came running to the airport crying and asking for forgiveness. I said I forgave him, I loved him too much. He didn't deserve it. We didn't say anything about getting back together. In the next couple of months we kept in touch, he started sending me semi romantic messages again. Then my friend told me that he was in a relationship with that same girl he cheated on me with. He never said anything about her to me, and he always denied cheating on me at all. I snapped, had a clear moment and cut all ties without saying a word to him or explaining myself. He went mad and was angry at my friend. He tried to contact me for months. I didn't reply to anything. And now 7 months of silence from my side later, I still get messages from him that he wants to talk to me and that he misses me, WHILE he's with that girl (whom he somehow doesn't want to introduce to most of our friends). I'm torn. It's been a little over a year now, and I notice that I slowly am getting over him. I don't cry that often anymore.I'm torn because on one hand I'd like to talk to him and tell him what he has caused and tell him what a big loser he is and break my silence. On the other hand I DON'T want to break my silence out of respect and dignity for myself. I have been a sucker for his words from the beginning.I have plans of moving to Australia in 1 year, and he is a part of the friend group I hang out with, so some peace between us would be welcome.I need some decent advice. Don't spare me please :-)
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