New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

He cheated!!! What do I do now???

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *eganislost writes:

Hi my names megan.

My husband is very atractive. And me, I'm just a little on the chunky side. Not too big not too small. But its sad when I stand next to him (he's... Just that gorgeous)

But as I expected I wouldn't have him long, I knew some better looking woman would ease between us when we were having issues with our marriage. .

Later in our marriage. I found emails from this very very beautiful woman. And they were sexual.

U may say that my insecurities would have drove him away but I never let me stop from doing everything he wanted ( kinky role playin. Sex. WITH the lights on. Wearing sexy stuff around the house.everything!)

I didn't confront him. Cuz the emails clearly stated he had already cheated. So the next day as he went to work. I took my ring off and sat it on the table along with a note that said

" I know about ur girlfriend.. Here give this to her since u love her. U could have told me something. ..gave me a heads up. But instead you acted as if everything was okay.. U probably dont even care that youve hurt me. Ryan.(Our daughter)"

The next few days he's callin me non stop telling me he never loved her(even though an email from him to her said he did!). It was just a fling and he wants me in his life forever. He can't take being in our big home with us. And without us there its just a house. He says he wishes he could take everything back.(He was saying this all while crying) he says he realises he made a huge huge huge mistake and if I just gave hime one more chance than he'll prove that he can change.and he'll be a better man for me and our daughter. What my question is... What do u guys think I should do. I mean I'm all confused. And don't know whether I could trust him or not. I would like give him another shot for our daughters sake but I need a second.. Third.. Fourth and fifth opinion! Please and thank u for listening to my story.

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, mum45 United Kingdom +, writes (5 June 2010):

Firstly, Where the hell is your self respect? . No wonder he cheated swanning around in your god like praise he must of thought he could get away with murder!Only you will know if he is really sorry and you must make him prove himself before you forgive him, You could still fix it but you need to be his equal not an adoring fan, surely then he will respect you more too .

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (4 June 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntHere's the deal, sweetie: what you're facing now is just about one of the hardest things you'll ever face in this life. I won't lie to you and tell you it'll all work out and other sugar-coated nonsense. Fact is this: there is no rule that says you must heave him over the side for this, just as there is no rule that you must take him back,either. The choice is strictly up to you. Weigh the pros and cons and make your best and smartest choice.

Problem is there's alot of rough road ahead of you to get through this.

Also a bigger problem is that most (but by no means all) cheaters usually never just cheat once and then toe the line til death do you part. You have about zero reasons to trust him, though so you should require some up front, solid collateral if he asks you to "just trust him" that he'll never do it again. Be sure to deal in FACTS only, though. Whether that's giving up his privacy in email, 'net, etc. or wearing a GPS device is completely up to you and he.

You'll find that trust issues are going to be your biggest battle. Follow your heart but use your head! Weigh it all out and then decide which way you want to go, whatever you decide I wish you the very best.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010):

How long has your husband's infidelity gone on for? Because if this has been going for some time you may want to think about things.

I think your husband likes to think that he has the power to manipulate you into thinking that you're his one and only and that he only loved you and he's trying to convince you that this so-called fling was nothing.

If you're unhappy with your husband maybe consider a separation and see if anything improves? As there is children in the situation make sure they get to see their dad. You shouldn't always use your children as an excuse to stay with a cheating husband.

If you decide you want to give your marriage another try, why not consider counselling?

At the end of the day, its down to you and what you want.

Take care

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2010):

Miamine agony aunt"But as I expected I wouldn't have him long, I knew some better looking woman would ease between us when we were having issues with our marriage."

You have very low self esteem.. he can't be that great (cheater) and if he is, then why don't you deserve him.

What issues where you having in your marriage?

He's not going anywhere, you don't have to make a decision fast, make him sit and wait (the damn cheating pig) you can take your time and think about exactly what you want to do. You cannot resume your marriage successfully unless you solve some of these "issues", and you need your self esteem to be higher or he may think you'll allow him to do anything he likes, including cheat on you again.

Tell him to wait because your thinking about why he's worth wasting time on.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "He cheated!!! What do I do now???"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312533999967854!