A
female
age
36-40,
*enders
writes:weeks ago my boyfriend for an year moved away to another place for his university.we agree to keep a long distance relationship working.but within two weeks he confess to me that he had slept with a girl he just met.because he find the long distance difficult to cope.when i learnt this, i wish him all the best and told him to go for what he thinks is right.(the other girl)he was particular angry about me wishing him well.since break up(about a week now)he kep sending me msn messages whenever im online.asking "how i was""have a nice day"(which i dont respond to)it seem strange, he said he forget about me as reason he cheat and break up with me.now he seem to be all remember and is online most of the time possible.i want to tell him to let go and go for other girls he wish for.but i dont know how...?but i dont really know why is this happening to him?
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long distance, msn, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, wenders +, writes (13 October 2007):
wenders is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone for replying :D
to Friend Tom:
I wonder about that too. Why bother telling me when he knows how much it hurt me???
he do sounds really confuse when he told me.
I don't think this relationship will work any more when he is away.
we are still too young.Maybe when we grown a bit more mature.
to Tommy7:
I make up my mind already.
But he seem really keen to contact me whenever he can...
I want to tell him to move on.But friends say just leave him and ignore.
(I suppose I have to block him till he understand)
to rcn:
I did . but afterwards he seem to be the one not able to let go of this relationship.
(odd, because I am the one being betray and dumped)
I want to treat him as "occasional friend"
the ones you sometimes say hi and talk to.
he done this to me so I cant really treat him as other friends i got.
Friends should never betray you...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): I am wondering why he even told you. I think maybe he was looking for a reaction. Just to see what you would say. If he truly wanted to keep the relationship with you, why would he "confess" to cheating? He may be confused as to what he wants. But you can bet that this will not be the last time. Decide if you really want this relationship. LD is always difficult, especially at your ages. I think you gave him a good response.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 October 2007):
You have found him to be a cheater. You need to decide whether or not you can forgive him. Then make a decision move on rapidly.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 October 2007):
 He must feel guilty for cheating. He's no good for you. Reason being, do you want someone who takes responsibility for their actions, or blames their actions on circumstances?
He couldn't cope, so he slept with a stranger. NOPE, he slept with her because he made that choice. That really is the only accepted excuse for his behavior. Anything else is placing the blame. It's almost like, if you place the blame then maybe you wouldn't take it out on him. It's really like the word "cope" can make someone have sex.
I'd tell him that he chose to cheat and the consequences for that choice is not being with you. Let him know cheating is not something you'd ever accept from a boyfriend and that action calls for immediate termination of the relationship, and that there is no discussion needed.
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