A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend of a year and a half and I have been planning on going to my senior year winter formal together at my school (he attends a different school). He recently got invited to go skiing during the week of the dance. Upon asking me if I would be mad whether he went skiing instead of going to the dance, I responded that I wouldn't be that angry if he gave me enough time to find another date, meaning that I would go with one of my guy friends that he knows well and has never had a problem with. He was pissed that I would even consider taking someone else to a dance, expecting me to go alone. From my perspective, if he is skipping the dance he had promised me he would go to so that he can go have fun skiing, I should have the right to have fun at one of my last Highschool dances as well. By no means am I saying that I would cheat on him or anything like that. I just want to have a date to go with so that I can actually enjoy my winter formal instead of standing off to the side the entire time. Am I justified in my beliefs? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): I think you handled it well enough. A commitment is a commitment. Who does he think he is to think to back out of WE Plans for ME plans? Then expect you to go alone?
I don't think he's even worth keeping around after that let down.
Once a man starts to show he is unreliable and self motivated- turf his sorry excuse of a backside.
I hope you enjoy your Winter Formal!
Happy Holidays!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): I'd most definitely go to the dance with a friend.
Hell, I'd be dumping the boyfriend's controlling ass and find someone better at the dance!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): Sounds like he's being quite selfish and demanding. Tell him " It's fine of you go skiing, but I AM TAKING A DATE because you should know me enough by now that it is purely friendship. I wouldn't need to if you weren't leaving me at the last minute and if you even argue about me having a date then you obviously don't know me that well and I am upset that you can be so disrespectful to me that you would think I would do that!"
That would be my reply if I were in your shoes. He can't go off wih his friends, where to be honest he could hook up with someone, and tell you that you can't have a date go along to your winter dance! Sorry but he sounds like a bit of an idiot for saying that.
Lexie88 is right in saying if you go alone you show him he can up and leave when something exciting comes along and still bark an order at you, don't let him have power of you, in any relationship no one has power of the other it's a partnership and while in that you still live your own life.
Enjoy your dance xx
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 You're perfectly fine in wanting a date for the event. If I was you I'd be questioning your boyfriend's willingness to drop you at the last minute to go on a skiing trip! Is this trip very special or something?
He knew about the dance, he knew you wanted him to go with you and at the last minute he decides to let you go alone so he can go skiing? I don't like this one bit. If my boyfriend even thought of doing this, he might not have me around when he comes back from the slopes!
You have two options:
1. Go alone and respect his wishes. Doing this shows your boyfriend that he can ditch you at the last minute and that you're ok with it. You let him do this once, he'll do it again.
2. You go with your guy friend. Your boyfriend will be angry and this may cause trouble in your relationship but you will show him that it's not ok to leave you at the last minute. But then again, he might not get the point. Either way, you get a date.
I'd go with no. 2. Tell your boyfriend that ditching you to go skiing is not appropriate and that it hurts your feelings. Also tell him what you said above, that you only want a date for the dance and that you're not interested in this other guy. If he's still immature about it, that's his problem.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 December 2011):
 "Go skiing with your friends, I'll go to the dance with one of mine, no problem! It's all purely platonic on both our parts, right?"
It sounds as though you had been planning to go to the dance, he'd been looking for other things to do.
If you accept an invitation, you don't bag it when something "better" comes along. If he's not going to act as your escort to the winter formal after he'd promised to do so, you are well within your rights to ask a friend to be your 'date' in the non-romantic sense.
He can't have it both ways. Be nice but be firm. He's in the wrong for trying to weasel out of the weekend to go skiing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Um I can't see why you shouldn't be able to go with a male friend if your BF blows you off to go skiing.
Am I justified in my beliefs?
Yes, I would absolutely go. And not alone.
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