A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im a ninteen year old girl, and dating a 38 year old man. I have been seeing him for more than three years now. When we started dating our relationship was not that serious, we didnt really care what the other did in the absence of the other. Now things have changed, we are more serious than before. I study in a different town, so he picks me up from campus every second weekend so we can spend it together. Like any other man he wants me to be loyal, and i have been eversince we started dating but the problem is he can't seem to do the same. I really love him even though most of my friends say it wont work out. Im really confused, I dont know whether I should dump him and find someone else or continue seeing him! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, nicewile  +, writes (13 February 2011):
u r a smart girl i think you know how to make him come back to u. i don't want to get involve any thing with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice, really appreciated!!! While reading the responses I received I noticed that all of them are different. But what I also noticed was, they all have one thing in common. Everyone advises me to DUMP HIM but with their own reasons as to why I should. I have come to notice that Im really resistant to change, it scares the hell out of me. Ive been seeing him for 3yrs and 5 months now and am used to him,and this makes me scared to even consider seeing someone else. Every single answer i received is something that has crossed my mind, but instead I chose to be foolish and carry on seeing him. Instead of things getting better I end up getting hurt and sometimes doubting myself, i sometimes feel unworthy of being loved. What i need is the courage to do what I know is right for me, and I also need to overcome my fear to change. Thank you again, and please be free to give more advice.
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A
female
reader, jenjen.270 +, writes (9 August 2010):
 DUMP HIM!!!!, it is not fair for him to expect you to be loyal when he is not doing the same. Sounds like he is trying to control you, you really need to end this asap. It wont ever work out and you will live your life unhappy, no man is worth that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Hey, all guys do that, look at the other ladies, even if dating, be it young guys or older guys. That don't change nothing. Is he really cheating, or what you think he is doing, or what others are telling you he is doing? Do you have proof he is cheating? Hey, if you have a guy who is a social creature and is out and about, he may go places that you might not like as much, and as long as he is single, as in not married, he will go and be sociable, and he might check out some of the ladies, as in eye them some. Don't mean he is taking them home and screwing them all night long, dang you sound like you own him already ! And, do you really think you will own him? Get real !
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Your friends are right, it won't work. Actually, let me rephrase that - he won't change. He's not a young guy just trying to get this out of his system... this is who he is. When a 38 year old man dates a 19 year old girl.. it's usually for one reason.
Dump him, find somebody closer to your age. I know you want to tell us how he's different and you two have such a good relationship and that you love him. And also how age means nothing to you because you are SO mature..... but honestly? None of that is true. He's manipulating you and cheating on you. Dump him. Trust us and your friends.
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A
female
reader, KA-help  +, writes (9 August 2010):
Personally I would give it a couple more weeks, see howbot goes and talkcto him about how youre feeling, he's older so should be more mature and understand where youre coming from. If he continues to mess you around I'd suggest you dump him, youre still young and can find someone better that treats you right, and in the mean time have some fun finding the perfect person for you.
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