A
female
age
41-50,
*nneDee
writes:Why is my husband not having sex with me? He says he's turned on by me, but he doesn't stay hard. When it comes to penetration, him touching me, BJ's, or me touching him...he loses it. We haven't had sex in 3 years, but we try... with failed attempts. How can a guy live without sex? -especially since we're 27.He has been to the Dr., and nothing was found wrong. He was given viagra type pills, which didn't do the trick. I also discovered that he was looking at porn. -He has no problem masturbating. What should I do, as a deprived wife? - I know I'm a worthy, attractive, strong and sexy woman...but he's making my self-esteem plummet.
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female
reader, blackdalia  +, writes (14 April 2010):
This is a very delicate situation and i can image the way your self-esteem is down the drain... First, the good new is that there is nothing physiologically wrong with him, it is in his head. Second, do not beat yourself up, it is not your fault but you have 2 choices. Work it or leave it. Work it: Try to find what turns him on with the porn, is it the clothing, the scene, certains things you do not do in bed... or the verbal sex language that could be a turn on... Do not let yourself go, take care of your image, i am not saying to be on heals all the time but it is important for you also to feel sexy when he looks at you... New lingerie, sensual perfume, let him know you are around the house with no panties on... You know what i mean, seduce him, tease him... send me messages on the phone for by e-mail. When you are having diner, ask him what turns him on (a no no if you have children on the table) Make dates... You can find a lot of article on Cosmo magazine or buy books on amazon. if you love your man and he says he is still turn on by you, GO GET HIM.Do not forget, man do not talk to much sometimes there have things on their minds. You have to show concern and ask about his everyday life at work, it is always good for them to see they can talk to someone, Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): I feel that pressure on him is taking it's toll. So as he will be beating himself coz, he is not making it do it.My advice will be ( you can take it or leave it ) for next 6 month, just do not worry about it all. Focus on something else all together in home. Just do not expect it from him.I am sure that he will come back to normal. I know i could not come once in my 10 year of marriage and it created lot of consciousness in my mind while doing sex with my wife.My wife thankfully took it rightly and she never pressed for sex any way. It took nearly 6 month for me to forget that incident and be confident in bed that i will be able to keep pushing till i come.Also see if he is into some problem from work or his family side. Wife need to understand that husbands also an human being not god. So they may have their own problem in physically, mentally and emotionally. Just because they do not say it, they expect partners to understand t heir problems also and accept the way they are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): That's an unspoken drawback to porn - when a guy gets addicted, it happens that only porn-stimulated masturbation will do the trick. Don't worry - it's not you, it's him. A body doesn't lie. He is having psychological problems that most likely have nothing to do with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): COSMOPOLITAN.COM Not only will you (hopefully) be able to find a solution to your problem but you will learn allot of sexy little tricks along the way. It spiced up my marrige and the sex allot. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Hmmm Since the doctor has found nothing amiss here I would strongly advise some therapy. There is something happening in his brain that he is possibly not aware of himself. E.g. some guys find sex with new mothers hard because they feel awkward about having sex with a "mother".
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