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female
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anonymous
writes: I feel frustrated, his self esteem suffering...For some reason, I can't orgasm when his fingers go south. I know the big reason is because we both aren't very experienced. Any advice? We are very comfortable with each other, so it's not that; my body's just being a traitor!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (21 November 2006):
 I don't think the reason is that you aren't very experienced. It should make you feel better to know that I also have never had anyone's fingers be able to get pressure consistent enough for me to come either and I'm very experienced in the bedroom. I think it is a very difficult for men to make women come this way. You obviously know yourself well enough, it's just a matter of trial and error. Have you tried lots of oral first to get yourself to the brink and then let him take you over the edge ? Or don't be worried about helping yourself out and maybe forget worrying about him doing the finger work, he can do other stuff whilst you do the tricky finger bits ! I think you'll also find it is your mind that is possilby getting in the way. I have read that orgasms, although physical, actually are finally triggered by the mind. I have recently realised that I can come several times in short succession which I didn't realise I could do. But I am still working on getting someone else to make me come, I guess we are all different and yet I still firmly believe that clitoral stimulation is a very fine art !
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