A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now, and are at the "serious" stage of our relationship. We're both 18 and we've tried to have sex twice now. The thing is, he can't seem to keep an erection long enough for us to actually have sex... He's been to see a doctor about that, and was given some tablets to see if they would help, but we're still having trouble. We both think it's because he's nervous. It may also be worth pointing out that he's still a virgin and I'm his first girlfriend. And I've had 2 boyfriends before him - one with whom I've had sex with. I think that his lack of experience and self-esteem may be the problem. I want to help him gain some more confidence. Does anyone have any advice for helping him get over his nervousness...?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): i've had the same trouble with my boyfriend, and pretty much the same story by the sounds: he was a virgin, i wasn't, bad case of nerves and everything else being seemingly fine.my tips: you have to be his rock. its scary for you, and of course you need to express any worries, but he needs you to smile to take away the pressure, not blame anything when things go...er...soft, and most important make him feel just sexy as ever.make sure there's nothing else on his mind. some completely unrelated stress may just be popping into his head at the wrong time. talk it out. it turned out for me that at that time my bf parents had been thinking about divorce, and he had promised to keep it secret.help him out. even small things like helping him out with a condom instead of waiting for him to sort it works magic.don't get frusrtated or blame yourself.keep sex casual. save the special knickers and cadles for after things are sorted. a pretty sunny bedroom in pajamas is just as fun and a lot less demmanding.make sure your not referencing you're ex. even in his favour. its a worrisome habit for him even if you've totally moved on.good luck x
A
female
reader, sweetnsoursauce  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 He's just nervous, it's nothing to worry about. He might not be sure if he's ready yet, or maybe he's afraid something will go wrong. Don't pressure him, comfort him. Tell him there's nothing wrong with this being his first time, and this happens to lots of guys. My boyfriend had the same problem, but I helped get through his nerves in the end. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
Keep trying but put no pressure on him to go all the way. Eventually he will relax and things will work out.
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