A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two weeks ago I met a guy and we had a great date, he asked for a second date while we were still out so we made plans to meet up the following week. The day of our second date he cancelled because he had a cold so I didn't think anything of that, I just told him I hope he feels better. Two days later he told me when he was feeling better and made small talk with me, also sent me some flirty messages but didn't ask to reschedule so I didn't ask either. It's now been almost a week since he cancelled and we've talked almost every day but he hasn't rescheduled. Should I ask him why or just forget him?
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 April 2018):
 you could make an open ended suggestion for an upcoming date and let him get back to you on that.
'If you'd like to get together to see the dinosaur exhibit at the museum next Saturday let me know'
That way you're not putting him on the spot, in case it is a between pays issue or something else that is temporary but might be a bit embarrassing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2018): H-m-m-m-m! My guess is that an unexpected expense came-up; and he's waiting for his next paycheck. Guys don't cancel over colds; there's too many over-the-counter remedies to handle that to cancel a date. He wouldn't have maintained contact the whole-time, if he was stringing you along. He's interested; but my guess is he's between paydays.
Give him benefit of the doubt; take the initiative and you schedule the next date. If you're up for it, let it be your treat next-time.
You'll learn several things at once. If he's cheap, stringing you along, or seeing somebody else at the same-time. He'll have to cancel on her, be that the case! If he nervously watches his phone the whole date, or there's several message-pings on his phone. It's another female!
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A
female
reader, MOBell  +, writes (24 April 2018):
I get a bad feeling about this guy. It sounds like he's toying with you. One has to wonder if the cold was a lie. Maybe he met someone else in the interim, but he doesn't want to cut you loose either. Instead, he hopes to string you along. Or maybe he was already involved with someone else to begin with and couldn't get away that evening.
If I were you, I wouldn't ask him for another date. Even if I'm completely wrong about this guy, and he truly was sick, men like to do the chasing.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (24 April 2018):
 Patience grasshopper. It's only been a week. Chances are he's still sick. He'll probably need at least two weeks to fully recover. Feeling better doesn't mean he's no longer sick. How would you feel sitting across a table at a restaurant while she's busy blowing his nose or sneezing every 2 minutes. Plus I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like waking up the next day feeling like utter crap only to realise he made you sick too. This would reduce the amount of time you guys get to spend together by about 200%.
The guy talks and flirts with you everyday. I don't get the impression he's exactly tossing you to the curb.
He's sick....cut him some slack.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2018):
 You could ask him how he is feeling and if he is up for a second date.
Why not? why sit and wait for him to ask?
And if he has started with flirty messages do you join in with that? Are you playing along?
Personally? I would wish him well and move on.
Why? Because you ALREADY said yes to a second date, so he KNOWS you are interested yet he isn't trying to move things forward (except for the flirting and trying to be "familiar" in his language.) which to me means he isn't serious and he is more likely to be looking to have some sexting and/or NSA going on.
BUT if you liked him, ASK him.
If he makes excuses OR cancels again - block him and move on.
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