| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is able to get an erection but cannot seem to ejaculate. We are in the early part of a relationship and have not yet sex yet but have been doing a lot of foreplay. As you can imagine this is causing a lot of tension. Any thoughts on why he is able to get an erection but cannot ejaculate.
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ejaculate, erection, foreplay Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2007): everyone else has had great repsonses to this question but i still feel the need to add on this one.
My boyfreind had the same problem when we started going out his problem was that he was no longer as sensative as he once was. I dont know the extent of what sexual things you two have done but it might be that he's just not quite as sesative. If you are doing certain sexaul things with your hand or mouth try adding a little more preasure. try having more forplay or massaging him before ou start real sexual things. It might help him get realxed if hes just nervous.
Remeber it's only the beggining once you find his triggers and the different ways that things affect him it'll be much easier for you and him.
hope i helped and best of luck
A
female
reader, Anonymousloll +, writes (9 January 2007):
Hi there! If you are in the early stages of this relationship and havent had sex yet but are working up to it then dont worry! When my boyfriend and I first started getting close he was so nervous! and he couldnt orgasm at first, its just nerves, however my boyfriend finds it really difficult to reach orgasm anyway and we've been having sex for ages! Some guys take longer to come but theres nothing wrong. Try getting close and giving each other nice massages with oils and get comfortable, things will work out and you will end up having amazing sex! trust me :) take care! xx
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 Hi there.
I feel that this problem is more psychological than physical. It seems like he is stopping himself from letting go. Its like when you need a wee, but someone is watching you or standing next to you. Although you are desperate and NEED to go, it just wont come (excuse the pun)
I think he needs to try to relax a little more and be as comfortable as he possibly can.
I am sure this will happen naturally over time.
Does he go to the loo afterwards? Maybe he releases there where he feels no pressure?
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A
female
reader, Lilly223  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 I wouldn't worry about this until, when and if, you have sex. Having an orgasm in front of someone can often make a person feel vulnerable, and doing it with them watching only a few inches away may be the issue. Many guys have issues with the "amount" be it a little or a lot. Don't ask me why, I've just found that to be true... like their manlyness is based on volume... not true and weird, but what do I know... I'm female.
It's alot easier to have an orgasm while looking someone in the face, or closing your eyes, rather than having a woman look directly at it when it happens. I'd feel a bit wary about it, especially early in the relationship if the circumstances were reversed. Nerves may play an role, and so may exerience. You don't say how old he is, but if he has been in a long term relationship up until now, his experience may be limited to one, or just a few different women.
Anyway, this could be a bonus to you in the long run. One of the biggest complaints women have is that their significant others orgasm too quickly. This may be a blessing for you!
I think in time you will have more information to base your concerns on. In the meantime, carry on as you were, and see if things progress.
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (9 January 2007):
 Hey sweety!
Well i'm not sure why some guys don't it's not that they can't!
All you do is when you do start having sex, whisper naughty things in his ear! the ear is a very sensitive!
Tell him what you want him to do, tell him what you want him to feel but whisper it in his ear! i t may take a while, but it works!
Trust me!
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