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age
36-40,
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writes: hi everybody .. i got married 6 months ago. I am 25 and my husband 36 now .. when we have sex he cant keep his penis hard for a long time and he doesn't cum always .. I have read about it and found out that it's because of alcohol and smoking and he drinks a lot and smokes one box of cigaretts a day. I know that prevents the blood presure to work good in his Penis.. but sometimes we have great sex, but lately he told me that he can't cum or have sex in the morning because he feels sleepy, but i figured out that every morning he watches porn sex through the tv for 5 mins and he CUMs quickly and then dresses and goes to work, while he thinks I am sleeping.When i play with his penis in the morning he gets hard for a while then that's it .. I need your opinion please .. is it me? am not sexy enough for him? .. he is always telling me he enjoys with me but i feel the opposite when he does this every morning :(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): Well I know everyone is jumping on the 'porn-is-bad' bandwagon for this man's problem, but perhaps, what if, it is you? You didn't give us any information as to your appearance, how you looked prior to this problem, if your habits around him have changed etc. Who knows, maybe you don't excite him anymore and he HAS to look at porn for sexual relief - instead of the commonly held belief that men look at porn FIRST, and, subsequently, THEN lose interest in their partners....
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (3 May 2013):
 From the sounds of it, you have already identified the problems in your relationship... and yet you some how blame yourself...
1) Your husband drinks and smokes. Does he drink excessively? Depending upon the depths of his bad habits, this will definitely impact his performance in the bedroom.
2) He is 36. At that age, some men begin to lose their ability to have an erection, particularly if they are out of shape and / or overweight. With your husbands lifestyle choices, this could definitely be a major factor. As he gets older, this will get worse.
3) If he is using pornography to get by, he is less likely to have anything left for you. Men can only "do it" a few times a day (some men have the ability to do it more often than others). As men age, it tends to get less. By having him abstain from using porn, will give him the ability to last longer. On a side note, I have read numerous reports about men who use porn being desensitized to the real thing. Your husband could be addicted or using it too much. While you've caught him a few times, his habits could be a lot deeper than you know about.
Personally, I think a combination of the above is at fault here, particularly his self-satisfaction routine. If you are left wanting, you will ultimately not be happy. I think you need to bring up this topic and get it out in the open. Your marriage will ultimately suffer and be at risk, if your sexual satisfaction is neglected.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (3 May 2013):
He has to stop watching porn. The bad diet he has doesn't help either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx a lot for the answers .. i guess he started this new since max two weeks and i dont know if i should ask him why he is doing this and talk about it or he will feel shame and bad .. i love him so much and i want the solution that doesnt hurt him :(
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 May 2013):
 This isn't about you not being enough. Porn can be addictive and in some men they no longer are able to be aroused by real life stimuli. Not because real life is less attractive at all, but because porn can impact brain chemistry.
Look at this website for more information:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2013): Well that's not good. His priority should be to keep you happy and satisfied, not be limp in bed and then go watch porn and jerk off. He's not a very good lover. I cant say with certainty whether he is attracted to you or not. I guess only he knows. If he weren't, though, why would he marry you?Is this a recent thing or has this always been an issue?
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