A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend calls me a bitch sometimes when he's mad. We've been together for 4 years now, but we just got back together at the end of October after I broke up with him for 3 months. One of the agreements for us to be a couple again was that he could never call me a bitch again. Needless to say he has done it a few times, the most recent being today (which is why I'm coming here for help).Here is what happened: he went to visit his cousin who lives literally a 3 minute drive from my house. It was dinner time and they had already eaten at his cousin's house so instead of him having to go buy himself dinner I offered to make him a sandwich. He got here and his cousin was waiting in the car and he ran up the door expecting me to I guess give him the sandwich "to-go" which I thought was kind of disrespectful because I took the time to make that for him along with pouring him a drink.. the least he could do was sit with me and eat it. So he said to me "you should have told me that!!!!" in a really mean way and went to get his cousin so they could come in.I went and sat upstairs because I was not decent for company (didn't know his cousin was coming) and he came upstairs to ask why I was upset which was because of the way he spoke to me when he got here. We had a small argument because he didn't get why I felt that way and it ended with him saying f** you you stupid b*tch and he walked downstairs to leave. He came back up a few minutes later to say goodbye again and was stroking my hair but of course I was in a bad mood at that point and didn't even want to speak with him because it hurts so bad when he says that to me.So now we're having a conversation about it through texts (which I would prefer NOT to do but he wants to talk about it NOW) and he said he doesn't really think he could ever stop calling me that because he has tried really hard before and hasn't been successful. Should I break up with him? Lately I have not had much attraction to him because I feel like he takes me for granted. He does not get his hair cut because I have done it for him in the past but my clippers have broken teeth and I don't do a good job anyway. If I pay to get my hair done why can't he? He also wears the same 3 outfits all the time and occasionally will wear something different. Same sneakers for over 2 years. He wears his very old fashioned glasses every day now when I met him I didn't even know he wore glasses. It's like I'm dating a totally different person now. He is also extremely thin now because he stopped working out (he wasn't buff before, he had a nice figure but now he's scrawny) I just feel like I'm losing my attraction to him because he's so mean sometimes and he does not take care of himself. We're only 20 and 21, he shouldn't have let himself go already.. I haven't. Should we break up? I don't know how to talk to him about his appearance without offending him.We do have good times in our relationship, but now is definitely not one of them. He can tell I'm losing interest.. please help! I do love him despite all this and I don't know what to do to fix this and make us both happy. When we weren't together for those 3 months I started missing him badly and that is why I contacted him again.
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broke up, cousin, got back together, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (31 January 2010):
 As my friend likes to say: your ex was your ex for a reason. Drop him immediately! He has no right to talk to you like that.
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (31 January 2010):
he broke the agreement, hand him a box, he's OUT OF HERE!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 January 2010):
You've go to let him go. He treats you really badly, and clearly has issues, and you've already broken up before, which means it wasn't working out. You can do better than him. You can't fix it, you can't change him, and you would be naive to think you can and naive to stay. Don't be treated this way. He's had his chances.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 I didn't read your whole post because of two things:
1. He calls you a bitch!
2. You already have broken up before.
If you've broken up before, that's it, it's finished forever. Why? because the same thing is bound to happen again and you are already thinking about it now.
Go find a new person who won't treat you like shit be strong and know exacly the guy you want to be with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to also make it clear that I still find my boyfriend attractive, it's just the way he presents himself anymore is putting me off a little bit. We have our good days and our bad like anyone else. I'm just wondering whether the bad might be outweighing the good here and I'm hoping it's not too late to bring our relationship back to what it used to be.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 No woman should stay with a man/ boy that says that to her.
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