A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy for more than a year and I know that he's really into me. We have a lot in common, and the chemistry between us is just mind-blowing (that is what he says!).He told me really nice things, he bought me expensive things, he introduced me to his family and friends, and everything was ok.I know that i did anything that a boy can desire!But then he told me that he had experienced the feeling a boy needs to go into a committed relationship with his ex and he that knew he didn't have it for me! (And his ex had left him for another guy.)What could I do? I broke up with him.But then after 3 months of rejecting his calls, emails, and text messages, I decided to give him another chance.But after 2 months the same story!I went to his place on his birthday to say goodbye forever and he cried, and so did I.And I went on a trip.I wanted the trip to be a chance for me to forget him, but then he sent me an email on my birthday telling me that he had never known anyone like me and that he could love me till he died and that I was his precious (that is how he used to call me all the time.) and the letter ended telling me that the world became a beautiful place when I came into it.And then I started to think about him again.He has told me 1000 times that he loves me, we used to have great sex and we had no problems. Even his family loved me. But then he tells me that he doesn't have that feeling for me. He doesn't even think that I am his girlfriend.He just calls me his closest and best friend in his entire life!!!I just don't get it!!!Is he running away?Or is he just playing?Or what?!
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male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 I think his behaviour is appalling. You have given him not one, but two chances with you and he has managed to mess it up both times. The fact that he messed up on his second chance is inexcusable and I think he's just trying to "have his cake and eat it too". He wants to be with his ex, but he wants you to "fall back on" as it were, which is terrible.
You deserve a guy who wants you and you alone, and I'm afraid it is not him. Cut all contact with him, move on, and find somebody else. There are better guys out there for you without a doubt, guys who will love you and never put you second to anyone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): He is confused and he doesn't know what he wants. It all comes down to immaturity and selfishness. It is not because you are not a great girl or that the relationship wasn't great. He really just is not a mature person right now. Some men grow up very late in life. We call them late bloomers. Another thing that you should be aware of is that he is keeping you as a back up. He doesn't sever ties with you and stays in touch with you so that if his current relationship doesn't work out he can have you to go back to. This guy is not worth it. I would avoid him altogether. He doesn't deserve you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): Does this guy get off on playing with your emotions? He sounds like a right Drama Queen. You were right to follow your instincts the first time. I wouldn't trust him with my emotions. He blows hot and cold and it is all about him and how he feels. Can't he see how cruel he has been to you. I would not give him a minute more of my time. There is an old saying. He talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk......
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Tell him to drop the stupid compliments, forget the expensive gifts, and to be upfront and honest with you. What the hell does he want? Why the hell is he not with you? Is he going to commit to it? Yes or no.If he is not, then forget him and move on, telling him not to contact you anymore. At this point that is what you need to do.
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