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He calls and wants to see me, but he doesn't seem to want to be my boyfriend,,,

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Question - (18 October 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi everyone,

what can you do when it's obvious a guy finds you attractive and comes to see you and calls you but says nothing committal about being your boyfriend? My brother says just to always refuse him sex and that will make him have to say something definite and my girlfriend says to just be light and fun and see what happens.

But I wonder if there's a way to speed up his decision-making without wasting my time and thoughts on him (I'm nuts about him).

My other girlfriend says I just have to be very honest and tell him what I want.

Won't that scare him away?

Plese help- any advice would be great (I am in my late twenties and have been messed around A LOT by guys in the past)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005):

I would not initiate anything. If he really wants to be your boyfriend he'll come around. And if he doesn't, he won't. Let him make that decision. In the end, you won't be disappointed. If he's keen on getting together with you and you would like that, then he will. If you would like that but he wouldn't, then you might ruin a good friendship. Stay friends with him if you like him.

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A female reader, sexseahot United States +, writes (18 October 2005):

sexseahot agony auntSounds like what I was going through with my boyfriend before we got together. He was always coming to see me and spending a tremendous amount of time with me, but never once said anything about getting together with me officially. One day I finally told him that I liked him so much and that I wanted to be with just him. I wasn't quite sure what the outcome would be, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. It went on for about a year and a half.

I say, if you want him to know, think of the best way to tell him that won't scare him off. It seems that he's interested in you, but some guys also don't know how to say anything about it. Tell him exactly how you feel and that you are nuts about him. He most likely feels the same if he's calling you and coming to see you.

I think you should let your feelings be known to him and see where it goes from there. It shouldn't scare him off if he don't feel the same, but I don't see that happening anyways. If you want him, GO for him. What do you have to lose?

Good Luck!

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A male reader, LucidCupid +, writes (18 October 2005):

Do something that will give him a signal that you want things to progress between you.One of two things will obviously happen.1,He'll be ecstatic and say that he's wanted this for a long time(I would almost guarantee he's shy?)or 2,he'll say that he only ever wanted to be friends,in which case you'll feel a bit silly but at least the guessing game will be over.Just be open and honest with him,he'll respect you either way,you've got nothing to lose.

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