A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:About 4 or so months ago I was with my ex bf. One night i was over his place and he kept harrasing me to take my clothes off. I kept saying no because I didnt want to have sex- i wanted to wait until we were in love to have sex. He said 'we dont have to have sex, i just want to see what you look like naked, so please do it for me babe? i promise you, know sex, i just want to see you!' then he pulled a puppy dog face like a little kid does who is begging for lollies!!After a couple of hours of pressuring of him saying things like that and actualy trying to take my cltohes off me, i gave in and said yes, but to make sure i said to him 'but no sex ok?' and he agreeed with me.I only said yes because i was tired of him pressuring me, i didnt really wanna do it cause i wasnt comfortable.anyway, so we were naked, and he got on top of me and i told him to get off me, but he woudlnt. i said i wanted to put my clothes back on but he woudlnt get off me. i said to him 'you promised me that was all' and then he said 'come on babe, you know you want to' and i said 'no i dont, please get off me'. he woudlnt. i kept repeating 'no' and 'get off me', but he just woudlnt do it!!! i got to the point where iwas freaking out because his penis was so close to me and i didnt know what to do. i tried pushing him off me but i am so skinny and weak and he has lots of muscles. he kept holding my hands down. his penis got even close and he was trying to get it in, but it woudlnt go in for some reason (maybe because i was so tense?). I was still saying no, and at that point i was almost crying. i begun to freak out. i started shaking, trembling, and my vision went all blury and i felt dizzy, numb and like i was going to faint. i told him i felt sick, but he didnt care! he still kept trying to get into me. i then said to him 'oh my god im about to vomit!' and he finally got off me.if i didnt say i was going to vomit, i think we might of had sex.the next day, i felt so gross. i even had bruises on my arms and boobs because he kept squeezing them so much. it hurt so much the next day that i could barely breathe as my chest hurt everytime i breathed in and out! this experience has really had a bad effect on me. although we are broken up now (i think he got tired of me saying no to sex so he dumped me) it still effects me. almost every night i have nightmares of guys forcing themselves on me, sometimes its him, sometimes it other guys who i dont even know. i feel so degraded! i feel worthless and disgusting. i feel inferior, like im not good enough for anyone. i know this probably doesnt make sense to anyone else because he was in the wrong, but i cant help but feel guilty. he said i was a tease and its my fault, i should not of took my clothes off. but he promised me nothing mroe would happen! i just need help dealing with all of this. im 18 years old and so is my ex bf.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, auddi  +, writes (3 September 2008):
Hi..
Sweety, I think you should hate this guy. It was attempted rape..Like Emily says, I don't think you can handle this on your own. You need to seek counselling and do tell a family member about it.
This guy is so mean..he ought to be given the worst punishment he can ever imagine. I am sure u get nightmares and stuff. Even i went thru something like that - but was much much milder. Still i got nightmares for quite some time after that.
I got better on my own, but i think you do need professional help.
A
female
reader, auddi +, writes (3 September 2008):
Hi,
Ur guy is basically insecure and is scared of being hurt and this is very natural. Some relationships end up being traumatic to some poeple. He is simply taking his own time and with time he will see what sort of a person you really are and things will improve...
Just give him time like you are giving him, be friends but at the same time don't be tooo matter of fact or even remotely indifferent. Treat him differently - not the way you would normally treat a friend. He will realise in the end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): He's an ass.If the bruises and pain you are feeling are real
bad,then go to the doctor.But first,you have to tell the police about what happened.Then take his ass to court.He had
no right to do that to you.He made you a promise and then he
broke it,like any CHILD would do,to get what he wants.Please
go get counseling.You seriously need it and will be the best
thing for you.I'm truly sorry and hope I helped you in some
way.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 September 2008):
Ring victim support. This was attempted rape.
You can find counselling groups in your area and talk to them about it, and that will make you feel better.
Either that or tell a friend or family member about it. You can't deal with this on your own.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Firstly, you said 'yes' to taking your clothes off for entirely the wrong reasons. There and then, when he was pulling his child-like faces, you should've kicked him in his precious area! But i'm pretty sure you realise that, don't feel bad. In the same position, more girls than you think would have done the same thing.I'm not surprised the ordeal you went through has taken such negative effects! Play Girl is right when she says what your ex partner did was indeed attempted rape and because of it, I hope you realise he is no form of a good man. Not worth a thing - and definately not worth the anguish you are feeling right now! It was very wrong, cruel and pathetic of him to do such a thing. If he had a drop of 'good' inside him, he would've waited until you were ready. Sex is a big thing, you're right when you say you would like to do it with someone you're in love with.He made a promise to you, which you trusted. By him insisting to go further, and giving you bruises! He breached that trust between you both. It won't help, but don't feel worthless and disgusting. He's missed out, he should feel guilty. A girl who says no to a guy like that is a girl worth waiting for. You were not a tease, just a woman who was waiting for the right moment.And it will come along soon. Don't you worry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008): you do realize that this was an attempt at rape and you could take this guy to court for it? I understand if you don't want to, it can lead to things getting very messy and complicated but just so you know it is an option.secondly dont you dare let yourself feel "disgusting" or dirty or used or anything like that! you didn't do anything wrong, no matter how 'slutty' a girl acts or how skanky she dresses or however much she teases a boy he never has the right to do something like this. HE should be feeling disgusting and idiotic because he has made a complete fool out of himself. i highly recommend you receive some sort of counseling, be it a proper psychologist or just a school counselor because something like this could affect your future relationships very negatively.if he promised you nothing more would happen then HE broke his promise and HE is the one to blame, this is not your fault in any way what so ever!!
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