A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing a guy from work for about 4 months but nothing was too serious as I had just come out of a long term relationship. One night as we was snuggled on the sofa, his phone went off and it was a notification from a dating website. I didn't say anything but was upset as he'd talked about being exclusive. After that I told him I didn't like that he was still on there so he deleted the app but I noticed he hadn't actually deleted his account. I decided to see if I could trust this guy, so I set up a fake profile and messaged him. He soon replied back and after a couple of days arranged a date for in a few weeks time as he was busy the next couple of weeks. He then went distant with the real me so after a couple of weeks of this I confronted him and asked what was wrong he said he was worried about the age gap between us and he ended it. The date was arranged for tonight and he still thinks it's going ahead. I'm starting to feel guilty so need advice, should I leave him to be stood up for treating me like this or should I cancel it in advance?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2014): "If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain" your situation is very much like a song I know.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2014): Well I don't agree with the fake profile thing...but he was actually a w**nker ! so at least you found out!
But no let him go and be stood up , He ended it with the real you for a fake you that isn't going to turn up!
And then just ignore him and get on with your life
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (3 October 2014):
 "nothing was too serious as I had just come out of a long term relationship"
So it was casual. You perhaps started dating too soon?
"he'd talked about being exclusive"
He'd talked about it? And you said.... "nothing too serious" I'm just getting over a breakup.
So you weren't exclusive and you weren't serious. But you decided to set a trap?
He went distant on the real "nothing too serious" with you dating ish thing and did not pursue the fake trap relationship either.
He ended the ish relationship with you before the date.
Let it go.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 October 2014):
 This would be funny if it wasn't you getting hurt here. In a way the "fake you" save the REAL you from a long term relationship from a cheater.
So while I don't condone making "fake personas" to "catch" BF, fiances and husbands online - you actually got a BF who was playing "grass MUST be greener" to bite.
Stand him up. Delete him from your LIFE 100%.
If the future if a guy does stuff you don't "like" like stay on a dating site, then WALK away, don't do what HE did. Don't stoop to the "fake account" level.
Good luck and thank your lucky stars that... you aren't dating this dude any more.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 October 2014):
 Heh, this is a unique one here. I would go the "stand him up" route to be honest and cut off all contact. Why would you cancel in advance?? What would the point be for that?
In truth, I would be tempted to keep the date and call him on the carpet for his cheating...maybe that would save the next girl from his antics. However, the downside to that would be looking like a psycho cyber stalker. I might do it anyways.
But no, do not cancel in advance. Your profile was fake...why afford him real courtesy when he was a dog to you? No way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014): What you did is pointless. I think opening a fake profile is as bad as him being active; while dating you as long as 4 months. Your credibility is shot; because what you did is deceitful. He's not the only one who will see that profile. You violated the rules of the dating site by placing a fraudulent profile in an attempt to deceive.
You started dating immediately after ending a long-term relationship. He was taking a risk by dating you, and you don't sound official. What you did is looney-tunes. You know that don't you?
You should keep the date so he can see what type of person you are; and what lengths you will go to get back as someone.
All you had to do was dump him; or tell him you were offended that he faked unsubscribing his account. Now you'll look a little daft! He may have sensed that about you all along. You just confirmed it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2014): I wouldnt be too pushed about it either way as he doesnt sound honest and is vague about his intentions with you.
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