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He broke up with me... I wanted to fix things... what to do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 December 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 January 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, *alyov writes:

So my boyfriend just broke up with me.

I thought everything was fine...we have been dating for 28 days now. He asked me out on Dec. 1st and after a bit of him persuading me (saying "I will never hurt you, and I will never make you cry, you have been hurt enough.) So I said alright.

Well we were doing great...the first 3 weeks we talked non-stop. He would text me every morning with a "morning baby!"

But then one day we were together and some girl (his ex) popped up on MSN saying 'I thought you wanted to view my webcam" and he said "lol" and signed out of it real quick. Well then my friend texted him saying "next time a girl asks you to view her webcam the answer is NO"

things have gone down hill from there

he barely talked to me all last week...and we had planned two weeks ago to stay together for a week for some 'alone time.'

But he seemed rude when I asked him when he wanted mt to come see him yesterday (what time, like he didn't want to be with me.

But after we were together everything seemed fine.

Then last night we went really far but I asked him to stop when he tried to have sex with me.

But then we stopped and went to sleep and he held me all night and woke me up with a kiss.

And then we watched movies and cuddled all day and he kissed me and we planned to go get some ice cream later.

but then he went downstairs and I was up here for a bit and was just laying on the bed. We kissed for a bit but he wasn't into it. I asked what he was thinking and he just shook his head. So I asked again and he said "I want to go home and be with my friends." I said "You dont want to be with me?" and he said "thats why I didnt want to tell you...I want to go but I dont want to leave you here because you drove an hour and a half just to be with me."

so I was in tears by this time and I said "if you want to go home ill take you home." and that was the last we spoke for an hour until we parted and all he did was say "bye" and hop out..no hug..no kiss.

then I went to talk to his friend because I was confused...and he said "he wants to be with you but doesnt...""He likes you and her"

so then I called my bf and we talked.

I asked "whats wrong between us?" he said "idk" i said "do you not like me anymore" he said "idk" i said "do you not want to be with me anymore?" he said "idk"

I said "what does idk mean? do you want to be together or not?" he said "i just want to be friends"

I said "is it because I wont have sex with you?"

He said "no thats not it so stop asking!"

then I asked "is it because of that girl? you like us both!?"

And he got mad at hung up on me...so I called him back and said "that was immature" he said 'well its immature you calling me a player" and then I asked "so im confused..what do you want?" He said "what do you want?" and I said "I just want to be friends."

What do I do? I really want to talk to him some more..try to patch things up....he says he still likes me...im so confused...I really need some advice on what to do..I cant stop crying....

On Christmas he told me "were perfect, you and I."

What happened?

What should I do?

View related questions: broke up, christmas, immature, msn, player, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009):

Hello there,

I know you're probably still really into him, but you have to move on. He obviously wasn't taking you or your relationship seriously if he started acting like he was not into it. I was in a relationship like this-- where the boy was making a game out of whether or not he "liked" me. Some days it would seem like everything was fine, and then other days he would be totally withdrawn. He eventually broke up with me, and I realized afterward that I felt 50 times better without him than I did with him.

Please, you sound like a very nice and reasonable woman... stop wasting all of your time and energy on a man who does not satisfy you or give any thought to your emotions! Find something to do that will take your mind off the breakup. Spend some more time with friends. Catch up on things you set aside before. You need to realize that you DO deserve better, and you DO deserve someone who will always be there for you and love you and treat you that way.

I know that someday you will find the perfect man, but until then learn to rely on yourself for emotional support. It is possible to get by without a boyfriend.

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A female reader, Kalyov United States +, writes (30 December 2008):

Kalyov is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Kalyov agony auntwe did things

but we never went all the way

he wanted to

but I am not ready for that

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A female reader, Libra1963  +, writes (29 December 2008):

Libra1963 agony aunt28 days is a short time to get to know someone. You both made a mistake by sleeping with each other so quickly. do not appear desperate and turn him off more by contantly phoning. Throw yourself into your own life - hang out with friends. flirt but do not keep sleeping with men so quickly - plus you are very young and I imagine he is too.

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A female reader, Kalyov United States +, writes (29 December 2008):

Kalyov is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Kalyov agony auntcorrection

part of that convo should say

and then I asked "so im confused..what do you want?" He said "what do you want?" and I said "I want to fix things and make it right again" and then I asked 'what do you want?" and he said "I just want to be friends."

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