A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently was broken up with by my now ex boyfriend, and even though it hurt for days it now hurts less. He told me a lot of things when he broke up with me, which now I am a 100% sure he was telling the truth. He has never lied to me, and I know he didn't this time either. We broke up because in his words "he needed time to figure some stuff in his life out." He said it was the hardest decision he ever made, because he saw a future with me. He said he wasn't doing it to date other girls or jump into any other relationships, and that he needed to work on his own life. He told me not to wait for him, because at the time he couldn't give me the love I deserved, and that I deserved to be happy. He told me not to have a false hope, and that it was just bad timing, and said that he would be interested in trying again/restarting if our paths were to cross again in the future, even adding to say that we should keep the lines of communication open. That day he gave me a long hug, that was longer than the normal friendly kind of hug. I realize now how much he actually loved me and cared about me to give me what we both needed. Even though I didn't understand it, I realize how much of a great man he was to me, both in our relationship and in general. I know that we both need some time to heal on our own, so we haven't talked since the breakup. I have conferred with friends and family about if I'm crazy for still seeing a potential future with him and they have told me I am not crazy for thinking that. I know right now is not the right time for us, but I still hope for a future with him. In the mean time I am working on my self, doing what I want to do and being happier than I've ever been. I just have this deep sense of peace that it will work out for us in the future when the time is right. Is there anything wrong with hoping for that, if it doesn't hurt you emotionally?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI read your answers, and thank you for your replies. I looked up the stages of grief, and I don't honestly think its that. I have acknowledged that my old relationship with him is over. I have asked my self countless questions, other people the same and prayed. I think I have accepted that the relationship (as it stood is now over), I just have this gut instinct, that both of us are not done with each other yet, partially because of the circumstances and the trust I still have with him. Maybe I'm wrong, and only time will tell.... I don't expect him to come back or anything, because I know he's not ready for that. But I honestly believe we will be able to start something new and better in the future.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2016): I think you might be in the "denial" stage of a break up. Look up the Five Stages of Grief. I would be surprised if you feel so comfortable with this situation in the weeks ahead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2016): Hey, if you say you're at peace then who is anyone to argue with that sense of peace? However I would say that if you are putting your future on hold, waiting around for him, then it could be a problem for you. You may be looking at him through rather nostalgic glasses at this moment in time, and the time that you're taking now to work on yourself is a good thing.as long as you arent banking on him emotionally to come back to you, then carry-on.
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