A
female
age
41-50,
*_osita
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I met 4 years ago, it was immediate attraction but we lived in different countries. I moved in close to him, and so we dated a year and 2 months. There is no doubt about how much he loves me,we even talked about getting married at some point (in a year or two). Three months ago he came to my house, not the same, said he needed to talk. He and I broke up that evening, he believes we are not compatible. I have no idea what he means by that... I don't see it being true. I had never seen him so sad... we cried together for a good half hour,hugged like never before, and danced our song the day we said our final goodbye.I haven't seen him since, although we have talked on the phone a couple times.I have never seen a man cry so strong. Im confused :(
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broke up, different countries, moved in Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, powderedheart  +, writes (23 April 2008):
hi, i feel like i'm in a similar situation as you, we feel in love right away, passionate and romantic. and we were pretty different people, but opposites attract right? he's very athletic, and outgoing, and a people person, and i like to nest, avoid bars, and stuff, we also had a lot of similar interests, so that was fine. i totally agree with what laura1318 said, that when you fall out of love, then everything becomes incompatible. maybe you dont see it now, but you can't help what he sees. you're still in love with him, so you're probably blinded with love. which i was, when i was still in love with my boyfriend, and i still am, but there are some things that take time to realize. there are some fundamental things that we were grossly incompatible with, things that are important to me that weren't important to him, things that i used to make excuses to myself for him, and his behavior, and now things are clear to me, and that we werent compatible and i knew it, but i just made excuses for it. and he knew it too, and we just made excuses for one another because we wanted to be together. and after you realize that you kinda dont want to remain together, then, there's no point to continue to fool yourself that things are going to be ok, or work out, or that you can life with this differences. he's told you how he feels, and, yeah it sucks that it was so sudden for you, but i mean, he had his reasons, and he sat you down to tell you, it wasnt in a fit of rage or something, that he would say out of anger, he thought it out, so, whatever he said, he must have been thinking about it for a long time. you cant help how he feels. so the best thing to do is to move on. he probably still cares for you, but, its not enough for him, and you alone can't keep a realtionship going if you're the only one who wants to be in it. that's what i've learned. good luck.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Incompatible is just an excuse that he does not love you anymore and wants to break up.
When you have fallen out of love, everything becomes incompatible.
How you look like and what you stand for becomes all negative to him.
When there is love, everything is possible..
When love is gone , everything which was right previously becomes wrong suddenly.
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A
male
reader, Andrew83  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Just a guess here but he could have been seein someone else, i mean it went a long time before it all came to an end (a year and 2 months) and the first thing that pops in to my head is that he may have been seein someone else hence the break-up.
"Incompatible" means either he is seein someone else (as in cheating) or he doesnt want to be with you. I have never seen or heard of anyone sayin it that way, doin what you two did, him cryin. Well, it just seems too good to be true if you know what i mean which is after bein together for a year and 2 months and all of a sudden he say's your both "incompatible" for one another.. If you both wasnt ment for each other, dont you think he would have said sooner rather than later.
My answer would be if we wasnt right for each other you would know in alot less time, much less (6 months or less)..
Sorry, i'm soo confused myself now!!
Look here sweetheart, move on with your life, meet someone new and i hope for the best it's the right guy for you.
I'm sorry if i'm not much help here :(
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