A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:this is the third time that i have been to this site to ask for help in the last two weeks. i am in my sixtes and my so called bf is in his late sixties. it involves a very emeshed and fused together family.we have been dating for almost 3 years and he broke up with me in july after being given an ultamaium by his kids. he denies that they gave him the ultamaium but i feel sure they did because he cannot bring hisself to tell them that we are dating again, for fear that it will bust his family up and they will dump him. this is really a role reversal. his high school class reunion is this coming week end and he has made plans to stay with his sister and her husband that live close to the event. they are also against him dating me. he says that in july when we were broken up and he visited him they asked him to stay with them while he was in town for the reunion. he says that these plans cannot be changed. also i can't go to the reunion because there will be people there that know his sister and husband and then they will know that he was with me for the weekend. he has told me that i can ride along with his this friday to the city where this will be and he will drop me off at the hotel where this reunion will take place and i can stay the two nights there and he will stay with his sister and brother-in-law. he told me that he will drop me off to go to my hotel room around noon this friday and pick me up around 10:30 sunday morning. he told me that he had rather me stay at my home so that he will know that i am safe. i guess so.............so he can go and have a good time. this is exactly what he wants. he said that if i choose to go to the hotel he will not have a good time for worring about me. i told him that i can choose another destination to go to by myself for the weekend but he said that he would worry about me driving by myself. if i ride with him then he does not have the worry about me on the road traveling.i am looking for severval opinions on this situation. i really want to go to the hotel because if know that this will worry him the most because if i tell him that i am going to another destination he firmly believes that i really won't do it. i want to make his weekend as miserable as possible because he has been so mean about this event. please help me. thanks
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 Good that you two are separate now. Go out and spend your time meeting a new guy. Revenge is not fulfilling, nor will it make anything feel better. I know, I tried it. If anything, it just proves he was right.
Put your energy into finding someone new, not focusing on someone that you claimed did not make you happy.
Grow up.
-Frank B Kermit, author of From Loser to Seducer
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (24 September 2007):
There is a chineese proverb I wonder if you know about - it goes like this:-
An eye for an eye leaves two blind people.
Either go down and ruin his weekend like some spoiled brat or instead try doing the grown up adult thing and walk away from the whole fiasco.
At the end of the day though - I don't think you would take a blind piece of notice to any of the abundance of good advice you have been given on these boards by a lot of good hearted people so it probably doesn't matter what I or any of us say - you seem more interested in carrying out some childish vendetta instead of doing the honourable thing.
No wonder that the elderly constantly complain about the younger generations not giving them the respect they feel they deserve. It is senior citizens that behave like you do that helps youngsters to not have any respect for the elderly in our communities.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): how old are you sixty or six?! you are behaving like a child because he wont take you to a party. get over it. If he by now isn't grown up enough to admit to his family he is dating you he never will be and this whole sitaution is obviously turning you into a very bitter woman.for your own sake, break it off and move on
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 September 2007):
 Good lord you two sound like two little kids. He's a grown man for crying out loud, why on earth is he allowing ANYBODY to tell him who to date and who not to? Tell him to grow a backbone, I sure wouldn't allow myself to be sneaking around hiding in hotel rooms. That's nuts.
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