A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I have been hurting the last several days, and have a constant knot in my stomach. A few months ago (3 or 4) I started dating this wonderful man. He is intelligent, smart, funny, and really good to me.We have tons in common, and have a really good time together. The problem is, during the last few months, I have been extremely busy and haven't made enough time for the relationship. I felt so secure about the relationship that I was taking him for granted, and not usually making him a priority. Obviously, he was getting pretty fed up with this, so he ended it 5 days ago. He told me he cared for me a great deal, but it hurt him too much to be constantly disappointed by me. I begged him not to, and he said he needed time to think about it. For the first couple of days he texted me some, mostly to ask how i was doing. He told me it was difficult for him, not to respond to my messages, that he still needed more time and that he already missed me. On chtistmas I sent him a somewhat desperate message telling him how much the break up woke me up, and how i know i can do so much better at making him happy. I haven't heard from him at all since. I know i really fucked up here, and I would do anything to change it, but I can't. I've spent the last 3 days staring at my phone, hoping and praying that it will be him. The question is, how much time should i give him, before i lose all the hope in my heart.? I don't want to spend the whole silence hoping that it will work out, only to be devestated when it doesn't. How long should i wait, before I ask him to put me out of my misery? Or if i don't hear from him by a certain point, should I just assume we're done? Any advice would be great. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response ladies. Two weeks ago today, he invited me over to his house to talk. I knew, from the second I saw him, that he was going to tell me what I didn't want to hear. He was convinced that he was happier alone, and that my selfishness was evidence of our unlikely long term potential. I could also tell he was conflicted so I pleaded with him to give me another chance. After some convincing,he agreed and we've been having an awesome time for the last couple of weeks. However, I am still worried that I may have shifted something inside of him, and it might never be the same again. For the first time, I am completely invested in the relationship, and I"m not sure he is. He is thinking about moving back up to Alaska after spring term, while I still have another year left in school. Now that I am emotionally invested, I know how it feels to be worried about the long term. I'm trying to enjoy the moment, but I'm scared too, that Ill be just a temporary fling. I guess only time will tell...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): I disposed of my bf for the same reason. Rather than wait on him get busy and show him attention, even if he's needing time. Fill his time with attention. It's your failure to give it to him that's pushing him away. Get busy woman! Grab his attention. Hello!
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A
female
reader, Janety  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 you should call him and tell him to give you another chance, and he will see that you changed, if you really did.. and if he cares about you, he will get back with you.. just tell him that you need another chance, and you will make it up to him, and then do.. tell him that you will wait for him to think about it, and assure him that you will make him a priority.. Tell him to think about it, and if he thinks you should not get back together, then leave it.. But if he cares, he will let you back.. :)
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